Don't eat the batteries!
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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2000
    Posts
    1,303
    These are a couple of posts form a different thread which I lifted for here, so they wouldn't be missed.

    Thanks Guys!

    Originally posted by James 3528

    In case you needed further proof that the human race is
    doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on
    consumer goods:

    On a Sears hair dryer:
    Do not use while sleeping.
    (Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

    On a bag of Fritos:
    You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
    (The shoplifter special!)

    On a bar of Dial soap:
    Directions: Use like regular soap.
    (and that would be .. how??)

    On some Swanson frozen dinners:
    Serving suggestion: Defrost.
    (But it's *just* a suggestion!)

    On a hotel provided shower cap in a box:
    Fits one head.
    (!!!)

    On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert:
    (printed on the bottom of the box)--Do not turn upside down.
    (Too late! You lose!)

    On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
    Product will be hot after heating.
    (Are you sure???)

    On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
    Do not iron clothes on body.
    (But wouldn't that save more time???)

    On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
    Do not drive car or operate machinery.
    (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts!)

    On Nytol sleep aid:
    Warning: may cause drowsiness.
    (One would hope!)

    On a Korean kitchen knife:
    Warning: keep out of children.
    (Or pets! What's for dinner?)

    On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights:
    For indoor or outdoor use only.
    (As opposed to outer space or underground)

    On a Japanese food processor:
    Not to be used for the other use.
    (Hmmmm, now I'm curious)

    On Sainsbury's peanuts:
    Warning: contains nuts.
    (no comment)

    On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
    Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
    (what is going on here?)

    On a Swedish chainsaw:
    Do not attempt to stop In case you needed further proof that the human race is
    doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on
    consumer goods:

    On a Sears hair dryer:
    Do not use while sleeping.
    (Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

    On a bag of Fritos:
    You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
    (The shoplifter special!)

    On a bar of Dial soap:
    Directions: Use like regular soap.
    (and that would be .. how??)

    On some Swanson frozen dinners:
    Serving suggestion: Defrost.
    (But it's *just* a suggestion!)

    On a hotel provided shower cap in a box:
    Fits one head.
    (!!!)

    On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert:
    (printed on the bottom of the box)--Do not turn upside down.
    (Too late! You lose!)

    On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
    Product will be hot after heating.
    (Are you sure???)

    On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
    Do not iron clothes on body.
    (But wouldn't that save more time???)

    On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
    Do not drive car or operate machinery.
    (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts!)

    On Nytol sleep aid:
    Warning: may cause drowsiness.
    (One would hope!)

    On a Korean kitchen knife:
    Warning: keep out of children.
    (Or pets! What's for dinner?)

    On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights:
    For indoor or outdoor use only.
    (As opposed to outer space or underground)

    On a Japanese food processor:
    Not to be used for the other use.
    (Hmmmm, now I'm curious)

    On Sainsbury's peanuts:
    Warning: contains nuts.
    (no comment)

    On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
    Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
    (what is going on here?)

    On a Swedish chainsaw:
    Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.
    (as if you should try to stop *anything* with your genitals-clearly my favorite of the list)

    On a child's superman costume:
    Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
    (Way to destroy a universal childhood fantasy!)chain with your hands or genitals.
    (as if you should try to stop *anything* with your genitals-clearly my favorite of the list)

    On a child's superman costume:
    Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
    (Way to destroy a universal childhood fantasy!)

    Originally posted by Poodle Head Mikey
    One time I got a new pager. It came with a sticker that advised not to eat the batteries. And inside the battery compartment door was another sticker that also added the comment that the batery compartment 'door' was not to be eaten either.

    I suppose they were concerned that one might leap to eat the door after the searing disappointment of not getting to eat the bateries. <g>

    Anyway, in the instruction manual there was also the counsel not to eat the batteries, along with the further comment that in the event that, despite all warnings to the contrary, you none the less, ate the batteries that your best bet would be to then call:

    The National Battery Ingestion Hotline (I am not making that up!)

    Nearly crippled with curiousity I dialed the 800 number. A pleasant sounding woman quickly answered and asked my problem. I explained that my problem was my incredulous -ness over the idea that there even Was a National Battery Ingestion Hotline. Or; the need for one. <g>

    She explained that there were several people manning the phones, 24 hours a day, 365 days per year, and that they were frequently called for their assigned purpose.

    With the image of people frantically gnawing away at their Die Hards and Delcos lodged in my head I went on to ask just why someone might decide to eat batteries.

    The woman then told me that it was most often accidental. I questioned that idea and she went on to add that it most often happened when the people were "testing" the batteries.

    I think it was after if I asked if they were testing them for taste that she hung up on me.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2001
    Location
    California
    Posts
    559

    Exclamation Hmmmm, it's really true. Be careful what you give your kids.

    I had my doubts on this until I did a search on Google
    http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&i...stion+Hotline+
    I learned that there are about 2100 (estimated minimum) cases per year of disk battery ingestion, with 2/3 of that by children under 6 yrs old, and especially one to two year olds. More than 10% of the cases are by adults: over 60 years old.

    Powering hearing aids is the most common intended use of the ingested batteries (44.6%). In 32.8% of the cases, the child removed the battery from his or her own hearing aid. Watch batteries account for 16% of ingestions. Other sources of disc batteries that are ingested include games and toys, calculators, cameras, lighted key chains, fishing bobs, flashing jewelry, musical greeting cards or books, and thermometers.

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