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Thread: Best Milk

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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
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    Best Milk

    Once, there was one farmer, name of Mayne, who consistently won the state prizes for the best milk and milk products. He was quite successful financially, and his farm was large enough that he needed a small helicopter to get around it.

    One day, some officials from the State Dairy Board dropped in to talk to him. The Chairman, his Assistant, and Mr. Mayne all got in the helicopter and took a flying tour of the pastures.

    As they were flying by, the Chairman noted that despite the huge acreage, many of the cows were congregated in one pasture, whose ground cover was much darker green than the rest. The Chairman asked about this, and Mr. Mayne replied "Oh, yes. That's part of my secret, you see. Some years ago I bought out part of the land belonging to one of my neighbors, who was a fruit farmer. Anyway, he'd planted strawberries, and I just let the cows eat them, intending to replant later. Well, the cows that had been pastured out there produced much more milk, and of higher quality, that I planted more berries for them to eat, and you have seen the results."

    The Chairman nodded, and said "I should have realized that -- it makes sense: strawberry fields for heifer."
    Never knock on Death's door. Ring the bell and run, he hates that.

    Views expressed here are my own and not neccessarily those of any company I am affiliated with.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    OK
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    2,144
    Another similar one:

    The leader of the vultures had only one child, a boy who was known as "troublesome". Although the others wouldn't dare mention it to the Chief, he,too knew there was a problem.

    One day the Chief called his son and said, "It's time you learned how to earn your way in the world".

    The boy, in his recalcitrant way said, "Yeah, whatever," and they flew off. The boy saw some ripe berries and said to his father, "Look, food!"

    The father replied "No, those are not for us". They flew a little farther and the boy saw a rabbit running on the ground. The boy said, "Hey, Pop, what about that?"

    Again, the father said "No, that's not for us".

    Finally the boy's patience was gone, and he said "We can't eat fruit, we can't eat live meat, what the hell are we supposed to eat?"

    With infinite patience, the father replied:

    "Carrion, my wayward son."
    Never knock on Death's door. Ring the bell and run, he hates that.

    Views expressed here are my own and not neccessarily those of any company I am affiliated with.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Nov 2000
    Location
    Eastern PA
    Posts
    68,981
    I just love those kind of long winded stories that finally get to a punny ending.
    Government is a disease...
    ...masquerading as its own cure…
    Ecclesiastes 10:2 NIV


  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    OK
    Posts
    2,144
    Here is a site full of them....It's where I get most of mine.

    http://www.awpi.com/Combs/Shaggy/index.html

    Everyone should know and be able to recite a good shaggy dog story.
    Never knock on Death's door. Ring the bell and run, he hates that.

    Views expressed here are my own and not neccessarily those of any company I am affiliated with.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    West Virginia
    Posts
    15
    nice

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    30
    Thanks for nice laugh

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