Torino me and my wife seperated a few years back but I took her back, we made it to the first court visit for getting a divorce before we got back together.
I was really involved in church at the time and didnt drink back then so I have no input there but I can tell you this hopefully you have a close friend you can talk to because being in an empty house drove me up the wall but I had a good friend that I could just drop in on anytime that helped keep me sane.
I'm also a member of another site www.daddyplace.com come by and sign up if you need a place to vent, their are quite a few guys there that have been through the same thing and probably can give you better advice than me.
Good luck man
My first divorce, at the time, was the worst time of my young life. A few years later, in 1984, I met my present wife who gave me a wonderful daughter who gave me a wonderful grand-daughter. Many times, I look at my grand-daughter and thank God that b!tch left me! I found out that life gets better. Much better!
Being Divorced twice and no kids, I really can't understand what you are going through. However, I was dating a single mom for a while and although the Ex-husband was still in the picture it made it really hard on our relationship.
Mom had full custody and dad had every other weekend. From the time dad picked up the kids until the time he dropped them off, he was totally trash talking thier mother. Not only that, but he would tell them things like, "do you know that when your mom is out with that GUY, I.E. me, he is doing sexual thing's with her".You don't say that to a child. It came to the point where the kids didn't even want to go with him, but mom insisted. She felt it was very important that both parents were involved in thier life.
Not once did mom ever say anything derogatory about him infront of the kids. There was one time where I was talking on the phone with her and I heard her oldest daughter 13 in the back ground talking on the phone. What I heard really broke my heart. The 13 year old was telling her father, "dad, we are tired of this. It has been going on for over a year now. Please stop calling, just leave us alone". After hearing that, I felt is was my place to end it, for the kids sake. I couldn't imagine how that guy must have felt to have his own daughter on her own free will say that. Yet, he did it to himself.
So I guess what I am trying to say, is try to be as civil as possible no matter what the out come may be. I am sure its hard but trust me, the last thing you want is to hear your kids say something like that or refuse to spend time with you.
I really am sorry to hear what you are going through. Just remember, a broken heart is like an injury. It will take time heal.... Hang in there, and best of luck.
Last edited by tech_support007; 05-06-2008 at 03:02 PM.
Do as I say, not as I do
there's no reason to bring race into this.
Originally Posted by twilli3967
To put the world in order, we must first put the nation in order; to put the nation in order, we must put the family in order; to put the family in order, we must cultivate our personal life; and to cultivate our personal life, we must first set our hearts right.
Rocky Balboa said it best!
Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard ya hit. It's about how hard you can get it and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done! Now if you know what you're worth then go out and get what you're worth. But ya gotta be willing to take the hits, and not pointing fingers saying you ain't where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody! Cowards do that and that ain't you! You're better than that! I'm always gonna love you no matter what. No matter what happens. You're my son and you're my blood. You're the best thing in my life. But until you start believing in yourself, ya ain't gonna have a life.
So true! I'm on my second divorce. Been seperated for 2 yrs now, and met someone 300 times better.
Originally Posted by RoBoTeq
Men just want a beer and see woman naked!
Make a woman happy, and she will make you happy. Make her miserable and she will make you miserable also.
See a woman naked? Some women you'd never want to see naked!
As far as that goes, I never understood the mentality of going to a "strip bar".
Like Bill Cosby used to say, "Man, if you're hungry, you don't go and watch a man cook a steak. " Makes sense.
See, the human mind is kind of like... a piñata. When it breaks open, there's a lot of surprises inside. Once you get the piñata perspective, you see that losing your mind can be a peak experience. ~Jane Wagner
Exactly Jab, I thought the same thing. Now back on topic,Torino I believe that the one that loves the least is in control. Just separate for a while. You know, a cooling off period. Don't call her. She will wonder what you are doing. Call your childern though. This woman lib is too much. A woman can bring out the worst in a man. I wish the best for you guys, and your childern.
Originally Posted by Jabarco
Oroy nailed it, very good advice, Ive been there before and its not a good feeling.
Im never getting married
my perspective is different from yours, I became a widower after 16 years together, there was no divorce. I held the bottle of pills in one hand and the whiskey in the other and stared for a long time. We get those feelings when the situation at hand challenges our ability to cope, and brother are you being challenged right now. I am still here for the same reason you are still here, and that reason is good enough. My sister went through a similar situation a few years back and she got screwed because she didn't consult a lawyer. I am sure you still have feelings for this woman, but before you let your emotions rule the situation, you should at the VERY LEAST consult a lawyer who is experienced in these matters. It has been over two years since Trisha died and I am still dealing with the legal aspects of it all with no end in sight, my lawyer (who is rated among the very best in my area) has been absolutely invaluable. It will be very well worth your time to speak to an attourney, and you should find the best one available. At least be aware of your rights and responsibilities, it can save you MAJOR hassles down the road.
One more thing.... hiring a lawyer is like hiring an HVAC contractor. Ask around for ref's, find somebody who has a lot of experience, avoid the low-ballers, don't buy **Goodman, etc.
Bottom line here: Protect what is most important, you already know what that is
Last edited by samtheman; 05-08-2008 at 05:48 PM.
Reason: **Should read Fedders instead of Goodman
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.
-- William Ernest Henley
Don't know how serious you are about eating a bullet. One Comment: Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. A friend of mine had one of his adult children eat a bullet, the child left behind a lot of damage.
Originally Posted by 1972torino
You are in my prayers.