I just replaced an oil burner w/a heat pump. I even went with the Infinity plus ductwork even though that doubled the cost of a Performance with old ducts. I did a detailed ROI and to my great surprise, found the HP was worth replacing immediately. Other than what you have already considered, I added new living area, 30 ft2 at $150/sqft, plus value of AC, plus less diesel smell and dirt and constant air cleaning. The indoor unit went in my crawlspace. Your home resale is a bit easier with HP instead of oil.
Other than a few install issues and the unexpected "whine" from the outdoor unit, it was a good move. The Infinity controller lives up to its reputation here.
The decision for Infinity was to feel better for a 3T (efficiency) and cosmetic (quieter). We live in a very quiet rural area and I can hear my neighbor's brand new HPs (low end Bryant and low end Lennox) from 200 feet away.