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Thread: got to get it out
02-26-2008, 11:59 AM #1
got to get it out
Where do i begin. The last time i talked to you guys was on my birthday last year in september and I have gone straight downhill since then. My Dad got into a bad car accident and there i was to step up to the plate and guess what? He fired me from the hospital a month later. I had pretty much quit all of the drugs and drinking and was with Kitty at the time. I cut my phone off on a sunday and the next day he said clean out the van and give me the phone back. Well after that i shut down. Lost my house, Lost the limited ability that I had to talk, and lost the little bit of confidence that i had. I can not seem to muster the strength to do any thing on a daily basis. I have applied to numerous maintenance jobs and they wont even take me. I basically taught myself in my Dads van for four years and I was making good money for him. Now I am to the point where i do not know what to do. I dont enjoy anything any more, my kids, my girl, nothing makes me smile. I cant even talk to people anymore, every time i go to say something anxiety takes over and i cant speak at all. I have probably said a total of 10 sentences since Christmas. I sleep 12 hours and barely eat. I feel like I am falling off the earth. Now that is out i can honestly say that being a lefty is a curse. I dont know how to make myself happy and i am acting like a little B****. I never would have thought in a million years that i would give up, but i did. I just need a chance to prove to myself that i can do it again. With five kids that love me I have got to get the hell up and do something. I just want to go back to work for Dad. He says that i have to get myself straight first then He will be glad to take me back but i have got to get over this crap. I appreciate the ears.Right on....
02-26-2008, 12:12 PM #2
If you haven't done it yet, get some professional counseling. At least it will show your Dad that you are trying. I've read your posts over time, and to me you seem a bit manic depressive. They have medication for that. Don't give up. Your kids need you. Work it out with your father, you definetly need him. He should give you a break if for nothing else the sake of his grandchildren. If you are humble and try hard you will make it. Good luck and stay strong.
02-26-2008, 02:28 PM #3Regular Guest
- Join Date
- Nov 2007
Drugs and alcohol will cause the problems
and feelings you are having...Your way does
not work...You can turn everything over and
start a new life (with help)
Williamsburg, and Yorktown. Helpline (757) 875-9314. Newport News, Virginia
May God Bless...if you keep asking He will help.
02-27-2008, 03:22 PM #4
I have been there.
The same feelings you shared were a big part of my life. Same mistakes with drugs and alcohol.
I remember there was nothing at that time that a person could say to me that would make me understand why, and I am assuming the same is true for you and wont bother trying.
But I cant stress enough to keep trying to find something that will help.
I was diagnosed Bi-polar when I was 19 after 4 years of hell, two hospital visits and several different medications. While medicine helps I face a battle everyday with my self to stay on track, and anyone who reads my posts would have seen that by now too.
For me what helped was moving away from everything and starting over.
but I will also be the first to tell you that poses its own set of problems.
and like already said by others Medical help is the key, and nothing to be ashamed of. You owe it to your kid and your girl to at least talk to a family care doctor and show them this post you created, It will be quick and painless and will be the start of some permeant relief for you.I hope life isnt a big joke, because I dont get it.
What I don't Know Far out weighs what I do.
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02-27-2008, 03:37 PM #5Regular Guest
- Join Date
- Jan 2008
After you get help you will have to work hard to regain peoples trust and confidence.It will get frustrating and seem to take forever. The sooner you start the sooner you finish. Hang in!
02-27-2008, 03:46 PM #6
You are telling classic story of depression. I've been there (other reasons, no drugs or alcohol in my case). See a doctor NOW! Counseling is important but so is proper medical treatment. It made a huge difference for me and it can for you too.Never knock on Death's door. Ring the bell and run, he hates that.
Views expressed here are my own and not neccessarily those of any company I am affiliated with.
02-27-2008, 05:30 PM #7
Im not one of these guys that show affection and support.
Dont take this the wrong way, but Man up to what you have done and do what you need to make it right!
We all go through things in life that suck, but what matters is that you be a man and get it done!"Correct Installation is the Key"
.1 has killed more HX then Rush Limbaugh
What is your TESP?
02-27-2008, 05:53 PM #8
Depression rewires you in a way that needs attention by a professional. Most often it's chemical imbalance, most often it's inherited. Your family Dr. can help. At least they can lead you in the right direction.
Also, like weber says sternly and unemotionally, the first step to a cure is to realize you have a problem(you do seem to be at this point.) ...then face it down. This includes outside help if necessary. Safety in numbers, remember.
Ultimately, you have to make the choice to do something.
Last edited by gruntly; 02-27-2008 at 06:00 PM.Is this a Fabreze moment? C.Y.D. I'm voting white elephant. 2’.
My competition are my best salespeople!
04-24-2008, 06:39 PM #9
Update... i feel better than I ever have in my whole life. After i realized that I dont need anybody but myself it was all over. I have a job working with Marriot Hotels and I love it. ( except for the condesers on the roof) My girl has stuck by me and our relationship is better than ever. I dont know, I just realized what I was doing wrong and wrote it down on paper and told my self that i cant fix everything overnight and a couple months later I dont think I could ever feel like that again. I have worked to hard to get myself to feel this good and nothing will stand in my way of being successful now. I want to thank all of you for your input and not giving up on me. I think I could be getting paid more so if anybody out there is looking for a good hire let me know. The only thing is my license is in bad shape. I have one but I have a bad driving record. Anyways thanks again and i am lookin forward to having fun learning.... AgainRight on....
04-24-2008, 07:03 PM #10
if you got fired ( by your dad) with five kids those feelings weren't depression, bypolar or anything of the kind. you just had a realistic perspective of your situation, no need to confuse the issue. looks like you already figured it out but in similar straights a while back (a woman, not drugs & drink) of all the cliche's & lame advise i got there was one jem to take with.
"the first step to getting back on your feet is to get off your ass"i was born under a wandrin star.
04-24-2008, 08:56 PM #11
I would hire you ace if you had a clean driving record. 2 tickets and our insurance won't take you.
When you clean your record up and want to relocate give me a holler.Karst means cave. So, I search for caves.
04-24-2008, 10:27 PM #12
04-25-2008, 12:28 AM #13
I'm glad to here it.
Work is the cure for just about whatever ails you. Anything that takes the focus off yourself is a good thing.
Keep it up.Is this a Fabreze moment? C.Y.D. I'm voting white elephant. 2’.
My competition are my best salespeople!