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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    Kingston Ontario Canada
    Posts
    1,234

    Bush...Wanna Hire This Guy?

    I seek an executive position, and will be available January 2009. I am willing to relocate.

    RESUME

    GEORGE W. BUSH

    1600 Pennsylvania Avenue

    Washington, DC 20520

    EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE:

    Law Enforcement:
    I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine, in 1976 for driving under the influence of alcohol. I pled guilty, paid a fine, and had my driver's license suspended for 30 days. My Texas driving record has been "lost" and is not available.

    Military:
    I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL. I refused to take a drug test or answer any questions about my drug use. By joining the Texas Air National Guard, I was able to avoid combat duty in Vietnam.

    College:
    I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. I made excellent personal contacts, which I have maintained.

    PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:
    I ran for U.S. Congress and lost. I began my career in the oil business in Midland, Texas, in 1975. I bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas. The company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock. I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer money. With the help of my father and our friends in the oil industry (including Enron CEO Ken Lay), I was elected governor of Texas.

    ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR OF TEXAS:

    - I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and oil companies, making Texas the most polluted state in the Union. During my tenure, Houston replaced Los Angeles as the most smog-ridden city in America.

    - I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the tune of billions in borrowed money.

    - I set the record for the most executions by any governor in American history.

    - With the help of my brother, the governor of Florida, and my father's appointments to the Supreme Court, I became President after losing by over 500,000 votes.

    ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT:

    - I am the first President in U.S. history to enter office with a criminal record.

    - I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing cost of over one billion dollars per week.

    - I spent the U.S. surplus and effectively bankrupted the U.S. Treasury.

    - I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in U.S. history.

    - I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12-month period.

    - I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.

    - I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the U.S. stock market.

    - In my first year in office, over 2 million Americans lost their jobs, and that trend continues every month.

    - I'm proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in U.S. history. My "poorest millionaire," Condoleeza Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker named after her.

    - I set the record for most campaign fund-raising trips by a U.S. President.

    - I am the all-time U.S. and world record-holder for receiving the most corporate campaign donations.

    - My largest lifetime campaign contributor, and one of my best friends, Kenneth Lay, presided over the largest corporate bankruptcy fraud in U.S. History, Enron.

    - My political party used Enron private jets and corporate attorneys to assure my success with the U.S. Supreme Court during my election decision.

    - I have protected my friends at Enron and Halliburton against investigation or prosecution. More time and money was spent investigating the Monica Lewinsky affair than has been spent investigating one of the biggest corporate rip-offs in history. I presided over the biggest energy crisis in U.S. history and refused to intervene when corruption involving the oil industry was revealed.

    - I presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S. history.

    - I changed the U.S. policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts.

    - I appointed more convicted criminals to administration than any President in U.S. history.

    - I created the Ministry of Homeland Security, the largest bureaucracy in the history of the United States government.

    - I've broken more international treaties than any President in U.S. history.

    - I am the first President in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove the U.S. from the Human Rights Commission.

    - I withdrew the U.S. from the World Court of Law.

    - I refused to allow inspector's access to U.S. "prisoners of war" detainees and thereby have refused to abide by the Geneva Convention.

    - I am the first President in history to refuse United Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 U.S. election).

    - I set the record for fewest numbers of press conferences of any President since the advent of television.

    - I set the all-time record for most days on vacation in any one-year period. After taking off the entire month of August, I presided over the worst security failure in U.S. history.

    - I garnered the most sympathy ever for the U.S. after the World Trade Center attacks and less than a year later made the U.S. the most hated country in the world, the largest failure of diplomacy in world history.

    - I have set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously protest me in public venues (15 million people), shattering the record for protests against any person in the history of mankind.

    - I am the first President in U.S. history to order an unprovoked, pre-emptive attack and the military occupation of a sovereign nation. I did so against the will of the United Nations, the majority of U.S. citizens, and the world community.

    - I have cut health care benefits for war veterans and support a cut in duty benefits for active duty troops and their families in wartime.

    - In my State of the Union Address, I lied about our reasons for attacking Iraq and then blamed the lies on our British allies.

    - I am the first President in history to have a majority of Europeans (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and security.

    - I am supporting development of a nuclear "Tactical Bunker Buster," a WMD.

    - I have failed to fulfill my pledge to bring Osama Bin Laden to justice.

    RECORDS:

    - All records of my tenure as governor of Texas are now in my father's library, sealed and unavailable for public view.

    - All records of SEC investigations into my insider trading and my bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.

    - All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my Vice-President, attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public review.



    References:



    Dick Cheney, Vice President – United States

    Kenneth Lay, former CEO, Enron – c/o United States Prison System

    Prince Bandar - Saudi Arabia

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2002
    Location
    Houston Texas
    Posts
    6,327
    A load of crap and it belongs in the ARP forum not here!!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    Afton, VA / Khorat, Thailand
    Posts
    2,469
    thorton, dude....you didn't get a life for Christmas???

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Nov 2000
    Location
    Eastern PA
    Posts
    68,981
    Sounds like a real person with lots of real life experience. I'd hire him.
    Government is a disease...
    ...masquerading as its own cure…
    Ecclesiastes 10:2 NIV


  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Near Atlanta, GA.
    Posts
    14,628
    Oh lookie, some yummy copy pasta for us to enjoy.

    By the way....it's all either exaggerations, misrepresentations, or just plain false. Perhaps in the future you'd care to check out these e-mail circulations before perpetuating them.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    N. E. Missouri
    Posts
    9,750
    Hmm. I wonder how the same author would see Mr. William Clinton's resume at the conclusion of HIS presidency?

    Fiction writers shouldn't venture into comedy, it rarely works.
    Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

  7. #7
    Sounds like what is on Air America 24/7

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Location
    PDX
    Posts
    4,917
    Quote Originally Posted by Johnny Law View Post
    Sounds like what is on Air America 24/7

    Yep,

    it sure does....


    But can you refute the claims?

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Location
    Woburn, MA
    Posts
    6,915
    Anyone who thinks a *tactical* weapon is a WMD hardly has the brainpower to be making claims about ANYTHING. Liberals are clearly liars!

    Incidentally, Bush *did* support WMDs. Try the mother of all bombs or his proposal to congress for newer and easier to maintain weaponized nuclear missles. Boy, you guys just don't know whether you are coming or going. Even when you are correct you don't have the brains to properly demonstrate it!

    Do I really need to go on? Please. Take this rubbish elsewhere.

    How come the greatest crash in history didn't result in depression? Black Monday, in 1987, hardly had the effect of another great crash that proceeded the great depression. Why? And why are we not greatly and adversely affected by market crashes today as we were in the 20s?

    Incidentally, 1987 happened to be Reagan's watch. Man... you folks ever actually pick up a book and READ? I can only assume that you and all liberals are flat out liars.

    A majority of US citizens most certainly DID NOT oppose the war when it began. Revisionist crap. You are liars.

    Oh, and I guess that you forgot to mention the fact that Russian and Isreali intelligence ALSO agreed with the Brits. In fact, Putin directly told it to Bush. Very convenient what you folks CHOOSE to remember. Lie by omission? You are still LIARS.

    Most of the rest is just agenda claptrap. Oleo, I guess every time that you are mistaken we should brand you a flat out liar. Interesting how the liberal mind works (when it does).

    No, I don't really think that all liberals are liars, but it is quite clear they can be mistaken (just read above), and quite often too. Amusing how a supposedly liberal thinker refuses to allow someone to be mistaken, especially when they themselves are so frequently.
    "Social networking" is an oxymoron.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Near Atlanta, GA.
    Posts
    14,628
    you folks ever actually pick up a book and READ?
    And that's the problem, most of the folks who believe and perpetuate this kind of junk don't make the effort to do the research and find out the truth for themselves. They are the sheep that are counted on to drink the kool aid and loyally vote for their party line.

    Quite sad that so many in this country can be so easily controlled.

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Nov 2000
    Location
    Eastern PA
    Posts
    68,981
    Quote Originally Posted by oloenneker View Post
    Yep,

    it sure does....


    But can you refute the claims?
    Well, actually, all of those claims have been refuted and none of them have been factually verified.

    Besides, don't ya think that President Bush would put his own spin on those instances rather then the spin that some ultra-liberal left wingnut has done?
    Government is a disease...
    ...masquerading as its own cure…
    Ecclesiastes 10:2 NIV


  12. #12
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    California/Nevada
    Posts
    3,729
    what are you talking about?


    there is a massive movement to change the Constitution so Bush can be president for another 8 years.

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Location
    SC
    Posts
    20,677
    Quote Originally Posted by oloenneker View Post
    Yep,

    it sure does....


    But can you refute the claims?
    Vast majority have been refuted and documented as having been proven false or lacking evidence of possibility.
    No reserve. No retreat. No regrets.

    For those who have fought for it, freedom has a sweetness the protected will never know.

    http://www.airwarvietnam.com/16thSOSGunners2.jpg

    Proud member of KA Club

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