I Ain't Lyin' . . . I Am Guilty!
Bill and Sam, two elderly friends, met in the park every day to
feed the pigeons, watch the squirrels and discuss world problems.
One day Bill didn't show up. Sam didn't think much about it and figured
maybe he had a cold or something. But after Bill hadn't shown up
for a week or so, Sam really got worried. However, since the only time they ever got together was at the park, Sam didn't know where Bill lived, so he was unable to find out what had happened to him.
A month had passed, and Sam figured he had seen the last of Bill,
but one day, Sam approached the park and -- lo and behold! --there sat
Bill! Sam was very excited and happy to see him and told him so. Then
he said, 'For crying out loud Bill, what in the world happened to you?'
Bill replied, 'I have been in jail.'
'Jail?' cried Sam. 'What in the world for?'
'Well,' Bill said, 'you know Sue, that cute little blonde
waitress at the coffee shop where I sometime go?'
'Yeah,' said Sam, 'I remember her. What about her?'
'Well, one day she filed rape charges against me; and, at 89
years old, I was so proud that when I got into court, I pled 'guilty.
'You went to jail 30 days for rape?'
'Oh, heck no! The judge gave me 30 days for perjury.'
"Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great." -- Mark Twain