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  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2002
    Location
    MemphisTn
    Posts
    179

    Random Acts of Management

    A magazine recently ran a "Dilbert Quotes" contest.
    They asked people to submit quotes from their real
    life Dilbert-type managers. Here are the Top Ten
    finalists:

    1."As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to
    access the building using individual security cards.
    Pictures will be taken next Wednesday and employees
    will receive their cards in two weeks."
    (This was the winning quote from Fred Dales at Microsoft Corp.
    in Redmond, WA.)

    2."What I need is an exact list of specific unknown
    problems we might encounter."
    (Lykes Lines Shipping)

    3."E-mail is not to be used to pass on information or
    data. It should be used only for company business."
    Accounting manager, Electric Boat Company)

    4."This project is so important, we can't let things
    that are more important interfere with it."
    Advertising/Marketing manager, United Parcel Service)

    5."Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the schedule."
    Plant manager, Delco Corporation)

    6."No one will believe you solved this problem in one
    day! We've been working on it for months. Now, go
    act busy for a few weeks and I'll let you know when
    it's time to tell them."
    (R&D supervisor, Minnesota Mining and Manufacturing/3M Corp.)

    7.Quote from the Boss: "Teamwork is a lot of people
    doing what I say."
    (Marketing executive, Citrix Corporation)

    8.My sister passed away and her funeral was scheduled
    for Monday. When I told my Boss, he said she died on
    purpose so that I would have to miss work on the
    busiest day of the year. He then asked if we could
    change her burial to Friday. He said, "That would be
    better for me."
    (Shipping executive, FTD Florists)

    9."We know that communication is a problem, but the
    company is not going to discuss it with the
    employees."
    Switching supervisor, AT&T Long Lines Division)

    10.One day my Boss asked me to submit a status report
    to him concerning a project I was working on. I asked
    him if tomorrow would be soon enough. He said, "If I
    wanted it tomorrow, I would have waited until tomorrow
    to ask for it!"
    (New business manager, Hallmark Greeting Cards)





  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2002
    Posts
    1,293
    In college, I ran a snack bar in a large dormitory (about 1000 students). On Sunday the hours were like 4-7pm. Well one Sunday I came in to open the snack bar and a bunch of students were lined up waiting and complaining about me being late. I thought they were kidding me until one took me over to the sign of store hours and showed me that the hours on Sunday had been changed to 2-7pm. Management had never deemed it important to tell me. But they did tell the lady that ran that snack bar Monday-Friday 8am-5pm.

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