A little political joke.
A man died and went to Heaven.
As he stood before of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, "What are all those clocks?"
St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move."
"Interesting, " said the man, "Whose clock is that?" he asked, pointing to a large clock in the middle of the wall.
"That's Mother Teresa's clock," St. Peter replied. "The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie."
"Incredible, " said the man. "And whose clock is that one?"
St. Peter responded, "That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life."
"Fascinating! " the man said. "Where's President Obama's clock?" he asked.
"His clock is in Jesus' office," St. Peter replied. "He's using it as a ceiling fan."
"Arguing with liberals...it's like playing chess with a pigeon; no matter how good I am at chess, the pigeon is just going to knock over the pieces, crap on the board and strut around like it's victorious." -- Anonymous