Sounds like you are a red lobster kind of crab eater.
Down here we eat em dirty, no melted butter, just grab one out of the basket take the shell off, split the body and dig in.
My wife is from ca, and never knew what a "whole crab" looked like, and was afraid to eat at first. She was a red lobster crab eater, but now she is starting to become a real redneck. She does use to many paper towels!
Melted butter a must!!! (It's needed to get more Old Bay stuck to the crab.)
Crabs haven't been running to good here yet. Was to have them tonite but didn't come through. We buy them from the crabbers, can't stand paying market price. Did go through a couple doz. soft crabs last week.