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Thread: Barbie

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb 2002
    Posts
    5,773
    Finally a Barbie I can relate to. At long last, here are some NEW
    >Barbie dolls to coincide with her and OUR aging gracefully. These
    >are a bit more realistic...
    >
    >1. Bifocals Barbie. Comes with her own set of blended-lens
    >fashion frames in six wild colors (half-frames too!), neck chain,
    >and large-print editions of Vogue and Martha Stewart Living.
    >
    >2. Hot Flash Barbie. Press Barbie's bellybutton and watch her face
    > turn beet red while tiny drops of perspiration appear on her
    >forehead. Comes with handheld fan and tiny tissues.
    >
    >3. Facial Hair Barbie.
    >
    >
    >
    >4. Flabby Arms Barbie. Hide Barbie's droopy triceps with these
    >new,roomier-sleeved gowns. Good news on the tummy front,
    >two-MuMus with tummy-support panels are included.
    >
    >5. Bunion Barbie. Years of disco dancing in stiletto heels have
    >definitely taken their toll on Barbie's dainty arched feet. Soothe
    >her sores with the pumice stone and plasters, then slip on soft
    >terry mules.
    >
    >6. No-More-Wrinkles Barbie. Erase those pesky crow's-feet and
    >lip lines with a tube of Skin Sparkle-Spackle, from Barbie's own
    >line of exclusive age-blasting cosmetics.
    >
    >7. Soccer Mom Barbie. All that experience as a cheerleader is
    >really paying off as Barbie dusts off her old high school megaphone
    >to root for Babs and Ken, Jr. Comes with minivan in robin-egg
    >blue or white and cooler filled with
    >doughnut holes and fruit punch.
    >
    >8. Mid-life Crisis Barbie. It's time to ditch Ken. Barbie needs
    >a change, and Alonzo (her personal trainer) is just what the doctor
    >ordered, along with Prozac. They're hoping in her new red Miata and
    >heading for the Napa to open a B&B. Includes a real tape of
    >"Breaking Up Is Hard to Do."
    >
    >9. Divorced Barbie. Sells for$ 199.99. Comes with Ken's house,
    >Ken's car, and Ken's boat.
    >
    >10. Recovery Barbie. Too many parties have finally caught up
    >with the ultimate party girl. Now she does Twelve Steps instead
    >of dance steps. Clean and sober, she's going to meetings
    >religiously. Comes with a little copy of The Big Book and a
    >six-pack of Diet Coke.
    >
    >11. Post-Menopausal Barbie. This Barbie wets her pants when she
    >sneezes, forgets where she puts things, and cries a lot. She is
    >sick and tired of Ken sitting on the couch watching the tube,
    >clicking through the channels. Comes
    >with Depends and Kleenex. As a bonus this year, the book "Getting In
    >Touch with Your Inner Self" is included.
    >
    >

    >

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2002
    Posts
    3,182
    I believe #6 would be Botox Barbie or Botulism Barbie.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Feb 2002
    Posts
    1,293

    Mr. Infinite Wisdom, sir

    Why are you collecting Barbie dolls, and admitting it?

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Feb 2002
    Posts
    5,773

    Re: Mr. Infinite Wisdom, sir

    Originally posted by mylanta
    Why are you collecting Barbie dolls, and admitting it?
    Well, hem, they're not mine they're my kids?

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2001
    Posts
    1,371
    If Barbie is such a popular girl, why do you have to buy her friends?
    If you don't know what you're doing, do it neatly

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