Reply[QUOTE=hvactech13;1391147]
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
Goofy is the illegitimate child of Minnie and Pluto
Professional Member
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"
Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there? I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's butt."
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the car-pool lane?
Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? (Stop singing and read on!)
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the
batteries are getting weak?
Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know
there is not enough?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion
stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you
throw a revolver at him?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles
are always white?
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that
something new to eat will have materialized?
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their
vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it
down to give the vacuum one more chance?
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end you first try?
How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's
falling off the table you always manage to knock something else
over?
In winter why do people try to keep the house as warm as it was in
summer when they complained about the heat?
And my FAVORITE......
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is
suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best
friends, if they're okay, then it's you.
Last edited by hvactech13; 02-27-2007 at 05:38 PM.
I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
I will defend, to your death, my right to my opinion.
Professional Member
[QUOTE=hvactech13;1391147]
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
Goofy is the illegitimate child of Minnie and Pluto
Do as I say, not as I do
Professional Member*
Speed limits are for safety. So how is it safe for a highway patrol officer to go 30mph over the speed limit to catch a speeder going 15mph over the limit?
We're awl pawthetic and kweepy and can't get giwrls. That's why we fight wobots.
Professional Member
If teflon is used as a non-stick coating on frying pans, what makes the teflon stick to the pan?
Wisdom has been chasing you, but you have always been faster.
In your darkest hour, when the demons come, call on me brother and we shall fight them together.
A Veteran is a person, who at some point in their life, wrote a blank check payable to the United States of America for payment up to and including their life.
Gene Castagnetti-Director of the National Memorial Cemetery of the Pacific in Hawaii
Professional Member
yes pushing the elevator button more than once does make it go faster
Last edited by johncavh; 01-28-2010 at 08:25 PM. Reason: spelling
Professional Member
Not if the guy in the elevator is pushing his floor button faster...Originally Posted by johncavh
yes pushing the elevator button more than once does make it go faster
Professional Member*
Dodge Ram is an oxymoron
We're awl pawthetic and kweepy and can't get giwrls. That's why we fight wobots.
Professional Member*
Why do they call them apartments..when they are all together?
"If you can’t describe what you are doing as a process, you don’t know what you are doing." ~ W. Edwards Deming
All those who wander..are not lost.
Do NOT..mistake my kindness for weakness.
The early bird may get the worm..but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Professional Member
If a person from Utah is a Utahn, what is a person from Tampa called??
The second mouse gets the cheese!!
Professional Member*
whoa you guys have way to much time on your hands
Professional Member
You're one to talk!!!!! Reading post dated 4 years ago???? Now who has too much free time????
Do as I say, not as I do
Professional Member
If you'll notice, the poster that made this comment about having too much time is not the one to bring this thread back from the dead...You're one to talk!!!!! Reading post dated 4 years ago???? Now who has too much free time????
Professional Member*
Why is McDonald's the official sponsor of the Olympics? That's like Hardees as the official sponsor of The Biggest Loser. Or Sandusky official sponsor of Big Brothers/Big Sisters.
We're awl pawthetic and kweepy and can't get giwrls. That's why we fight wobots.
Professional Member*
If a guys genitals is referred to as his junk, then a woman that has junk in her trunk......
We're awl pawthetic and kweepy and can't get giwrls. That's why we fight wobots.
Professional Member*
Studies show that most injuries that occur in the home happen in the bathroom.
Yet when a tornado strikes the one room many people run to for safety is the bathroom.
We're awl pawthetic and kweepy and can't get giwrls. That's why we fight wobots.
Professional Member*
I think all of the thoughts above can be summed up in two thoughts:Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"
Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there? I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's butt."
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the car-pool lane?
Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? (Stop singing and read on!)
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the
batteries are getting weak?
Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know
there is not enough?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion
stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you
throw a revolver at him?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles
are always white?
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that
something new to eat will have materialized?
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their
vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it
down to give the vacuum one more chance?
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end you first try?
How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's
falling off the table you always manage to knock something else
over?
In winter why do people try to keep the house as warm as it was in
summer when they complained about the heat?
And my FAVORITE......
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is
suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best
friends, if they're okay, then it's you.
First... we live out of our feelings rather than our logical minds... and
Anything the govt does... they do because they are not being told (by the citizens) they cannot.
GA-HVAC-Tech
Your comfort, Your way, Everyday!
GA's basic rules of home heating and AC upgrades:
*Installation is more important than the brand of equipment
*The duct system keeps the house comfortable; the equipment only heats and cools (and dehumidifies)
*The value of comfort, over the long term; leave economic choices behind!
Choose your contractor wisely!
Professional Member*
The XXX Summer Olympics are on. So where are all of the naked people?
We're awl pawthetic and kweepy and can't get giwrls. That's why we fight wobots.
Professional Member*
Why is it you can't put metal in a microwave but the inside of a microwave is made of metal.
Professional Member*
flipping thru channels today-why do the teenage mutant turtles wear masks? Its not like they'd be mistaken for anyone else
Col 3:23
questions asked, answers received, ignorance abated
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