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Thread: More Ponderisms

  1. #14
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    SW MO.
    If a guys genitals is referred to as his junk, then a woman that has junk in her trunk......
    We're awl pawthetic and kweepy and can't get giwrls. That's why we fight wobots.

  2. #15
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    SW MO.
    Studies show that most injuries that occur in the home happen in the bathroom.

    Yet when a tornado strikes the one room many people run to for safety is the bathroom.
    We're awl pawthetic and kweepy and can't get giwrls. That's why we fight wobots.

  3. #16
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Atlanta GA area
    Quote Originally Posted by hvactech13 View Post
    Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"

    Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there? I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's butt."

    Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

    Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the car-pool lane?

    Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

    Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

    If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

    If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

    If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

    If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

    Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? (Stop singing and read on!)

    Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

    Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

    Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

    Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the
    batteries are getting weak?

    Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know
    there is not enough?

    Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion
    stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

    Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

    Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

    Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

    Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you
    throw a revolver at him?

    Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

    If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

    Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles
    are always white?

    Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

    Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that
    something new to eat will have materialized?

    Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their
    vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it
    down to give the vacuum one more chance?

    Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end you first try?

    How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

    Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's
    falling off the table you always manage to knock something else

    In winter why do people try to keep the house as warm as it was in
    summer when they complained about the heat?

    And my FAVORITE......

    The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is
    suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best
    friends, if they're okay, then it's you.
    I think all of the thoughts above can be summed up in two thoughts:

    First... we live out of our feelings rather than our logical minds... and
    Anything the govt does... they do because they are not being told (by the citizens) they cannot.

    Quality work at a fair price with excellent customer service!

    Romans Ch's 5-6-7-8

    2 Chronicles 7:14

  4. #17
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    SW MO.
    The XXX Summer Olympics are on. So where are all of the naked people?
    We're awl pawthetic and kweepy and can't get giwrls. That's why we fight wobots.

  5. #18
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    SW MO.
    Why is it you can't put metal in a microwave but the inside of a microwave is made of metal.

  6. #19
    Join Date
    Dec 2002
    in a house, Appomattox, Va.
    flipping thru channels today-why do the teenage mutant turtles wear masks? Its not like they'd be mistaken for anyone else
    Col 3:23

    questions asked, answers received, ignorance abated

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