Joke; Not knowing when to shut up
On their wedding night, the young bride approached her new
> husband and asked for $20.00 for their first lovemaking encounter. In
> highly aroused state, her husband readily agreed.
> This scenario was repeated each time they made love, for more
> than 30 years, with him thinking that it was a cute way for her to
> afford new clothes and other incidentals that she needed.
> Arriving home around noon one day, she was surprised to find
> Her husband in a very drunken state. During the next few minutes, he
> explained that his employer was going through a process of corporate
> downsizing, and he had been let go. It was unlikely that, at the age of
> 59, he'd be able to find another position that paid anywhere near what
> he'd been earning, and therefore, they were financially ruined.
> Calmly, his wife handed him a ban k book which showed more
> Than thirty years of steady deposits and interest totaling nearly $1
> million. Then she showed him certificates of deposits issued By the
> which were worth over $2 million, and informed him that they were one
> the largestdepositors in the bank.She explained that for the more than
> three decades she had "charged" him forsex, these holdings had
> and these were the results of her savings and investments. Faced with
> evidence of cash and investments worth over $3 million, her husband was
> astounded he could barely speak, but finally he found his voice and
> blurted out, "I f I'd had any idea what you were doing, I would have
> you all my business!" That's when she shot him.
> You know, sometimes men just don't Know when to keep their mouths shut
OK, I have to hijack the thread, so we can stay "on topic", or carry on the theme...
Guy lies in the hospital, dying. Gives his wife his car keys, says, "Honey, we've been married for thirty years, I want you to have what's in the trunk." She comes back the next day, says, "Honey, I found two bushel baskets in the trunk. One had 3 ears of corn it it, the other had $ 10,000 cash. Where did that come from?" He says, "Well, every time I cheated on you, I'd throw an ear of corn in the basket in the trunk." She thinks for a moment, figures, well, 3 times in thirty years, after all , he is dying, so she figures, that's Ok, she'll forgive him. Then she says "Where did the $ 10,000 cash come from?"
He says, "Every time I got the bushel full, I'd sell it!"