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Thread: 4 dirty jokes

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
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    4 dirty jokes

    Fourth Place:

    A man bumps into a woman in a hotel lobby and as he does, his elbow
    goes into her breast.
    They are both quite startled.
    The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as
    your breast, I know you'll forgive me."
    She replies, "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room


    Third Place :

    One night, as a couple lays down for bed, the husband starts
    rubbing his wife's arm.
    The wife turns over and says "I'm sorry honey, I've got a
    gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh."
    The husband, rejected, turns
    A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again.
    "Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?"


    Runner Up:

    Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for a
    number of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife
    that he had a terrible compulsion. He had an urge to stick his
    penis into the pickle slicer. His wife suggested that he should see
    a sex therapist to talk about it, but Bill said he would be too
    embarrassed. He vowed to overcome the compulsion on his own.

    One day a few weeks later, Bill came home and his wife could see at
    once that something was
    seriously wrong.
    "What's wrong, Bill?" she asked.
    "Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to
    put my penis into the pickle slicer?"
    "Oh, Bill, you didn't" she exclaimed.
    "Yes, I did." he replied.
    "My God, Bill, what happened?"
    "I got fired."
    "No, Bill. I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?"
    "Oh...she got fired too."



    A couple had been married for 50 years.
    They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the wife
    says, "Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this
    breakfast table together."
    "I know," the old man said. "We were probably sitting here naked as
    a jaybird fifty years ago."
    "Well," Granny snickered. "Let's relive some old times."
    Where upon, the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table.
    "You know, honey," the little old lady breathlessly replied, "My
    nipples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago."
    "I wouldn't be surprised," replied Gramps.
    "One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal."

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Hangin out with you losers
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    Good work Dov
    Keep them coming
    I remember my first day,It was fun!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Kingston Ontario Canada
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    Good ones, doc, good ones! I enjoyed them

    Don't be irreplaceable! If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
    We have first to recognize that we are dispensable, before we can become truly indispensable

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