A small zoo in Wisconsin obtained a very rare species of gorilla.
Within a few weeks, the gorilla, a female, became very
difficult to handle.
Upon examination, the veterinarian determined the problem.
The gorilla was in heat. To make matters worse, there was
no male gorilla available.
Thinking about their problem, the Zoo Keeper thought
of Bobby Lee Walton, a redneck part-time worker
responsible for cleaning the animal cages. Bobby Lee,
like most rednecks, had little sense but he did possess ample
ability to satisfy a female of any species.
The Zoo Keeper thought they might have a solution. Bobby Lee
was approached with proposition. Would he be willing
to mate with the gorilla for $500.00?
Bobby Lee showed some interest, but said he would
have to think the matter over carefully. The following
day, he announced that he would accept their offer,
but only under five conditions:
"First," Bobby Lee said, "I ain't gonna kiss her on the
lips." The Keeper quickly agreed to this condition.
"Second," he said, "She must wear a 'Dale Earnhardt
Forever' T-Shirt." The keeper again readily agreed to this
"Third," he said, "you can't never tell no one about this."
The keeper again readily agreed to this condition.
"Fourth," Bobby Lee said, "I want all the children raised
Southern Baptist." Once again it was agreed.
"And last," Bobby Lee said, "I'll need another week to come
up with the $500.00.