Do you know what they call 50 skydiving lawyers?
Do you know how many lawyers it takes to grease a combine?
ONE, but you have to run him through real slow....
Those who dance, appear insane to those who do not hear the music.
Those who believe, appear ignorant to those who do not know God.
If a Preist, a School Teacher and a Lawyer are in a boat in shark infested waters. Who will Survive trying to swim to safety?
The School Teacher can calculate the odds
The Preist will call on a higher being
The only one to survive will be the Lawyer
What do you call a cruise ship full of lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
A decent start.
A Dog Ran Into A Butcher Shop......
A dog ran into a butcher shop and grabbed a roast off the counter. Fortunately, the butcher recognized the dog as belonging to a neighbor of his. The neighbor happened to be a lawyer.
Incensed at the theft, the butcher called up his neighbor and said, "Hey, if your dog stole a roast from my butcher shop, would you be liable for the cost of the meat?" The lawyer replied, "Of course, how much was the roast?" "$7.98."
A few days later the butcher received a check in the mail for $7.98. Attached to it was an invoice that read: Legal Consultation Service: $150.
What do you call 50,000 lawyers buried up to their armpits in sand?
Not enough sand.
Why can't lawyers use Viagra?
Makes 'em too tall.
How do you know if a lawyer is lying?
If his lips are moving, he's lying.