good one from Cragslist
God Loves Drunks Too < justwishmeluck4-11 > 02/21 11:50:04
A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am
by a loud pounding on the door.
The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.
"Not a chance," says the husband, "it is 3:00 in the morning!"
He slams the door and returns to bed.
"Who was that?" asked his wife..
"Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers.
"Did you help him?" she asks.
"No, I did not, it’s 3am in the morning and it’s bloody pouring rain out there!"
"Well, you have a short memory," says his wife. "Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down, and those two guys helped us?
I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself!
“God loves drunk people too you know.”
The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain.
He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?"
"Yes," comes back the answer.
"Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband.
"Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark.
"Where are you?" asks the husband.
"Over here on the swing," replied the drunk..
I r the king of the world!...or at least I get to stand on the roof and look down on the rest of yall
Don't worry zombies are looking for brains, you're safe...
That's a good one. Had me fooled!
Can someone please explain to me -
Why is there never enough time to do it right the first time, but plenty of time to do it twice?
The second time is on a different Account!