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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2001
    Location
    East Stroudsburg, PA
    Posts
    13,215
    I received these in my email today. It's a verbatim copy. No accent here...




    Probably more bumper stickers than you ever wanted, but I
    laughed at them all so I'm forwarding them to y'all. (Notice
    my fake Southern accent today!)

    1) The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.
    2) I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
    3) I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend on Me.
    4) Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
    5) I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
    6) Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.
    7) WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.
    8) You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
    9) BEER: It's not just for breakfast anymore.
    10) I got a gun for my wife, best trade I ever made.
    11) So you're a feminist...Isn't that cute.
    12) Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
    13) Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
    14) To all you virgins, thanks for nothing.
    15) I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
    16) My kid had sex with your honor student.
    17) Earth first...we'll mind the other planets later.
    18) I'm just driving this way to piss you off.
    19) Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
    20) As long as there are tests, there will be prayer
    in public schools.
    21) I don't have to be dead to donate my organ.
    22) I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather...
    not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
    23) God must love stupid people, he made so many.
    24) The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
    25) Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
    26) It IS as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
    27) I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
    28) It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
    29) Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
    30) I know what you're thinking, and you should be ashamed of yourself.
    31) Elvis is dead, and I'm not feeling too good myself.
    32) Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
    33) Very funny, Scotty. Now beam up my clothes.
    34) Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
    35) Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
    36) CAT----- The Other White Meat
    37) Beer----- The Reason I Get Up Each Afternoon
    38) I Must Be a Proctologist Because I Work With *******s
    39) I'm Out Of Bed And Dressed-----What More Do You Want?
    40) Remember My Name------You'll Be Screaming It Later.
    41) Welcome To **** Creek-----Sorry, We're Out of Paddles
    42) If You Think I'm A *****, Wait Until You Meet My Mother.
    43) Jesus loves you. Everybody else thinks you're an *******.
    44) I miss my wife, but my aim is getting better.

    Have a great Tuesday. The weekend is just around the corner!
    Until tomorrow!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2002
    Posts
    1,293

    My favorite is ...

    Honk if you love peace and quiet

  3. #3

    you forgot......





  4. #4
    Join Date
    Nov 2000
    Location
    Eastern PA
    Posts
    68,923
    "Bad Cop, No Donut!"
    Government is a disease...
    ...masquerading as its own cure…
    Ecclesiastes 10:2 NIV


  5. #5
    Join Date
    Feb 2002
    Posts
    5,773
    I got that list in an email also.

    My wife was laughing her ass off about #27

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Sep 2001
    Location
    East Stroudsburg, PA
    Posts
    13,215
    Real ego booster, huh?

    Tell her the other one left off was...

    "Funny wife in trunk!"

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jul 2001
    Location
    Iowa
    Posts
    322

    Unhappy I actually have this one on my car

    I'm hung like Einstein, and smart as a horse!

  8. #8

    Re: I actually have this one on my car

    Originally posted by the pipe dope
    I'm hung like Einstein, and smart as a horse!

    hehehehehehe

    [Edited by BJ on 04-11-2002 at 05:35 PM]

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Feb 2002
    Posts
    3,182
    I talk to myself because I like dealing with a better class of people!

    Everybody is somebody else's weirdo!

    Your kid may be an honor student but your still a weirdo!

    Dyslexics of the world, untie!

    I have the body of a god----Budda!

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Nov 2001
    Location
    Seattle, WA
    Posts
    7,751
    Two bumper sticker I have never understood:

    "Caution: show dogs"

    "I support gay bingo"

    "The American Republic will endure until the day Congress discovers it can bribe the public with the public's own money.
    - Alexis de Toqueville, 1835

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Sep 2001
    Location
    East Stroudsburg, PA
    Posts
    13,215
    Originally posted by DeltaT




    "I support gay bingo"



    All bingo is gay.

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Nov 2000
    Location
    Eastern PA
    Posts
    68,923
    Originally posted by DeltaT
    Two bumper sticker I have never understood:

    "Caution: show dogs"

    I have always liked ones like this. Another one is "caution, child on board". It's like, if there are no dogs or children we would go out of our way to hit them, but because it's a show dog we won't.

    "I support gay bingo"

    This one I don't get. How the hell "gay" bingo would be any different from any other kind of bingo is beyond me. Even if it means "happy" bingo, it makes no sense.
    Hey James, what does this mean?
    Government is a disease...
    ...masquerading as its own cure…
    Ecclesiastes 10:2 NIV


  13. #13
    Originally posted by DeltaT
    Two bumper sticker I have never understood:

    "Caution: show dogs"

    "I support gay bingo"

    well the 1st one is probably about crazy people who have show poodles etc. and they don't want people to get too close and get the little darlings all excited!
    and the 2nd one, Well they probably drive around w/ poodles too!

    [Edited by BJ on 04-12-2002 at 01:11 AM]

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