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Thread: Survival of The Fittest
02-07-2013, 10:09 PM #1
Survival of The Fittest
Survival Of The Fittest
Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels.
Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round.
I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world.
Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.
When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes."
This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money." I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion.
There can be only one.Do NOT click HERE
02-07-2013, 10:33 PM #2
"Been around the world and found that only stupid people are breeding, the cretins cloning and feeding.."
- Harvey Danger
02-07-2013, 11:21 PM #3
You REALLY need a cold snap to generate some no heating calls so you can get out of the house...If more government is the answer, then it's a really stupid question.
02-07-2013, 11:32 PM #4Do NOT click HERE
02-08-2013, 07:23 AM #5
funniest thing i have read in a long time. definately a hall of fame postIV IV IX
use your head for something other than a hat rack.......Gerry
02-08-2013, 07:26 AM #6