Survival of The Fittest
Results 1 to 6 of 6

Hybrid View

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    Denver, CO
    Posts
    4,229

    Hmm Survival of The Fittest

    Survival Of The Fittest

    Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels.

    Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round.

    I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world.

    Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.

    When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes."

    This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money." I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion.

    There can be only one.
    Do NOT click HERE

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    Calgary, Alberta
    Posts
    1,080
    "Been around the world and found that only stupid people are breeding, the cretins cloning and feeding.."
    - Harvey Danger

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Location
    North Richland Hills, Texas
    Posts
    14,914
    You REALLY need a cold snap to generate some no heating calls so you can get out of the house...
    If more government is the answer, then it's a really stupid question.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    Denver, CO
    Posts
    4,229
    Quote Originally Posted by mark beiser View Post
    You REALLY need a cold snap to generate some no heating calls so you can get out of the house...
    You got that right these 65 in the middle of January and February is just plain ridiculous. I think I'm going to wax my ladders and organise the bolt, nut and fuse bins in the shop tomorrow.
    Do NOT click HERE

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    steeler nation
    Posts
    2,036
    funniest thing i have read in a long time. definately a hall of fame post
    IV IV IX

    use your head for something other than a hat rack.......Gerry

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    North Texas
    Posts
    656
    Quote Originally Posted by viceman View Post
    funniest thing i have read in a long time. definately a hall of fame post
    X2.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
Comfortech Show Promo Image

Related Forums

Plumbing Talks | Contractor Magazine
Forums | Electrical Construction & Maintenance (EC&M) Magazine
Comfortech365 Virtual Event