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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    kansas
    Posts
    141

    Smile dogs (dont give me crap i'm union)

    4 men were discussing how smart their dogs were. The 1st man was an engineer who said his dog could do math. His dog was named "T-square" and when he was told to draw a square, circle, or triangle, the dog could with no sweat. The accountant said his dog was better. His dog, "Slide Rule", was told to fetch a dozen cookies, bring them back, & divide them into piles of 3, which Slide Rule did with no problem. The chemist agreed those 2 were smart but his dog, "Measure", was even better. If Measure was told to get a quart of milk, and pour 7 ozs. of it into 10 oz. glasses he could without fail. All 3 agreed they had brilliant dogs. They turned to 4th guy who was a union member to ask his story. "My dog is named 'Coffee Break' & I'll show ya what he can do." Upon snapping the fingers of the Union worker's fingers, Coffee Break ate the cookies, drank the milk, **** on the paper, screwed the other 3 dogs, & claimed he hurt his back doing so. He then filed a grievance report for unsafe work conditions. He also put in for Workmen's Comp and left for home on sick leave.
    Honeywell you can buy better but you cant pay more

    I told my wife when i die to sell my fishing stuff for what its worth not what i told her i paid for it

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    New York, ny
    Posts
    189
    Hahah... :thumbup:

    Sent from my SGH-T999 using Tapatalk 2

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    Mid-Mo
    Posts
    3,595
    Haha!!!

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Location
    Central Florida
    Posts
    637
    A Baptist preacher and his wife decided to get a new dog.

    Ever mindful of the congregation, they knew the dog must also be a Baptist.

    They visited kennel after kennel and explained their needs. Finally, they found a kennel whose owner assured them he had just the dog they wanted.

    The owner brought the dog to meet the pastor and his wife.

    "Fetch the Bible," he commanded. The dog bounded to the bookshelf, scrutinized the books, located the Bible, and brought it to the owner.

    "Now find Psalm 23," he commanded. The dog dropped the Bible to the floor, and showing dexterity with his paws, leafed through and finding the correct passage, pointed to it with his paw.

    The pastor and his wife were very impressed and purchased the dog.

    That evening, a group of church members came to visit.

    The pastor and his wife began to show off the dog, having him locate several Bible verses. The visitors were very impressed!

    One man asked, "Can he do regular dog tricks, too?"

    "I haven't tried yet," the pastor replied. He pointed his finger at the dog. "HEEL!" the pastor commanded.

    The dog immediately jumped on a chair, placed one paw on the pastor's forehead, threw his own head back and began to howl.

    The pastor looked at his wife in shock and said, "Sweet Jesus! He's a Pentecostal!"
    JUST A LITTLE CLOSER AND THE LITTER BOX IS ALL MINE!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    Peoria, IL
    Posts
    2,149
    sounds like your not union and that upsets you!

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Location
    Central Florida
    Posts
    637
    Quote Originally Posted by garychance View Post
    sounds like your not union and that upsets you!
    A.F.S.C.M.E local 2227
    JUST A LITTLE CLOSER AND THE LITTER BOX IS ALL MINE!

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    Peoria, IL
    Posts
    2,149
    i meant op, or the author of the joke

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    New York, ny
    Posts
    189
    Quote Originally Posted by garychance View Post
    sounds like your not union and that upsets you!
    <~~Union for 8 years. ... One year local 94 the rest 638... and I find it funny ..

    Sent from my SGH-M919 using Tapatalk 2

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    Peoria, IL
    Posts
    2,149
    Quote Originally Posted by grkmano View Post
    <~~Union for 8 years. ... One year local 94 the rest 638... and I find it funny ..

    Sent from my SGH-M919 using Tapatalk 2
    never said i did not find it funny, just probably came from a non union guy. that's all (union 27 years by the way)

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Location
    Central Florida
    Posts
    637
    Quote Originally Posted by garychance View Post
    i meant op, or the author of the joke
    Pastor.

    His union offers better benefits than we could negotiate!

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