Be sure to measure it first
A guy walks into a bar with a monkey . The monkey grabbed some olives off the bar and ate them . Then he grabbed some sliced limes and ate them . He then jumped onto the pool table and grabbed one of the balls . To everyone's amazement, he stuck it in his mouth and somehow swallowed it whole .
The bartender looked at the guy and said, "Did you see what your Monkey just did?"
"He just ate the cue ball off my pool table . . . Whole!"
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy, "he eats everything in sight, don't worry, I'll pay for the cue ball . "
The guy finished his drink, paid his bill, paid for the stuff the Monkey ate and left .
Two weeks later the guy came back, and had his monkey with him . He ordered a drink and the monkey started running around the bar . The Monkey found a maraschino cherry on the bar . He grabbed it, stuck it up his butt, pulled it out, and then ate it .
Then the monkey found a peanut, and again stuck it up his butt, pulled it out, and ate it . The bartender asked, "Did you see what your monkey just did?"
"No, what?" replied the man .
"Well, he stuck both a maraschino cherry and a peanut up his butt, pulled them out, and ate them!"
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy .
"He will eat anything, but ever since he had to **** out that cue ball, he measures everything first . "
Officially, Down for the count
YOU HAVE TO GET OFF YOUR ASS TO GET ON YOUR FEET
It was working when I left...
Liberalism-Ideas so good they mandate them