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Thread: Men

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Missouri
    Posts
    343


    :
    This is Good!!



    One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweat-
    shirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?"

    "It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"
    He yelled back, "University of Oklahoma."

    And they say blondes are dumb...
    -----------------------------------------------------------
    A couple is lying in bed. The man says,
    "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world."
    The woman replies, "I'll miss you..."
    -----------------------------------------------------------
    "It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?"

    "Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.
    -----------------------------------------------------------
    He said - Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
    She said - That's a good idea... you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart.
    -----------------------------------------------------------
    Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
    A: A rumor
    -----------------------------------------------------------
    A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that because they had been so good that each one of them could have one wish.

    The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband.

    Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.
    The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger...
    Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!!
    Gotta love that fairy!
    -----------------------------------------------------------
    Dear Lord,
    I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death.

    AMEN
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Q: Why do little boys whine?
    A: They are practicing to be men.
    -----------------------------------------------------------
    Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?
    A: Trustworthy.
    -----------------------------------------------------------
    Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your nam e?
    A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
    -----------------------------------------------------------
    Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?
    A: It helps them remember which end they need to wipe.
    -----------------------------------------------------------
    Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
    A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals"


  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    Kingston Ontario Canada
    Posts
    1,200
    You really know how to hurt a guy, don't you, Girltech!!

    Thorton
    _______________________

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