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  1. #1
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    2012 Democratic National Convention Schedule

    2012 Democratic National Convention Schedule -- Charlotte, N.C.

    4:00 PM - Opening Flag Burning Ceremony - sponsored by CNN

    4:05 PM - Singing of "God Hates America " led by Rev. Jeremiah Wright

    4:10 PM - Pledge of Allegiance to Obama

    4:15 PM - Ceremonial 'I Hate America' led by Michelle Obama

    4:30 PM - Tips on "How to keep your man trustworthy & true to you while you travel the

    world" - Hillary Clinton

    4:45 PM - Al Sharpton / Jesse Jackson seminar "How to have a successful career without ever

    having a job."

    5:00 PM - "Great Vacations I've Taken on the Taxpayer's Dime" - Michelle Obama

    5:30 PM - Eliot Spitzer Speaks on "Family Values" via satellite

    5:45 PM - Tribute to All 57 States - Nancy Pelosi

    6:00 PM - Sen. Harry Reid - 90-minute speech expressing the Democrat's appreciation to the

    Occupy Wall Street movement, and to George Soros for sparing no expense for all that they

    have accomplished to unify the country, improve employment and to boost the economy.

    8:30 PM - Airing of Grievances by the Clintons

    9:00 PM - "Bias in Media - How we can make it work for you" Tutorial - sponsored by CBS,

    NBC, ABC, CNN, the Washington Post and the New York Times

    9:15 PM - Tribute Film to Brave Freedom Fighters incarcerated at GITMO - Michael Moore

    9:30 PM - Anthony Weiner entertains audience with his personal slide presentation

    9:45 PM - Personal Finance Seminar - Rep. Charlie Rangel

    10:00 PM - Denunciation of Gun Owners and Bible readers

    10:30 PM - Ceremonial Waving of White Flag for IRAQ and Afghanistan

    11:00 PM - Obama Energy Plan Symposium / Tire Gauge Demonstration / You too can get rich

    with Green Investment bankruptcies

    11:15 PM - Free Gov. Blagovich rally

    11:30 PM - Obama Accepts Oscar, Tony and Latin Grammy Awards

    12:00 AM - Official Nomination of Obama by Bill Maher and Chris "He sends a thrill up my

    leg" Matthews

    12:05 AM - Celestial Choirs Sing

    3:00 AM - Joe Biden wakes up and delivers acceptance speech to an empty room

    (The convention was over at 12:30 AM)
    "The American Republic will endure until the day Congress discovers it can bribe the public with the public's own money.
    - Alexis de Toqueville, 1835

  2. #2
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    Lmao!...excellent.
    To put the world in order, we must first put the nation in order; to put the nation in order, we must put the family in order; to put the family in order, we must cultivate our personal life; and to cultivate our personal life, we must first set our hearts right.
    -- Confucius

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by DeltaT View Post
    2012 Democratic National Convention Schedule -- Charlotte, N.C.

    4:00 PM - Opening Flag Burning Ceremony - sponsored by CNN

    4:05 PM - Singing of "God Hates America " led by Rev. Jeremiah Wright

    4:10 PM - Pledge of Allegiance to Obama

    4:15 PM - Ceremonial 'I Hate America' led by Michelle Obama

    4:30 PM - Tips on "How to keep your man trustworthy & true to you while you travel the

    world" - Hillary Clinton

    4:45 PM - Al Sharpton / Jesse Jackson seminar "How to have a successful career without ever

    having a job."

    5:00 PM - "Great Vacations I've Taken on the Taxpayer's Dime" - Michelle Obama

    5:30 PM - Eliot Spitzer Speaks on "Family Values" via satellite

    5:45 PM - Tribute to All 57 States - Nancy Pelosi

    6:00 PM - Sen. Harry Reid - 90-minute speech expressing the Democrat's appreciation to the

    Occupy Wall Street movement, and to George Soros for sparing no expense for all that they

    have accomplished to unify the country, improve employment and to boost the economy.

    8:30 PM - Airing of Grievances by the Clintons

    9:00 PM - "Bias in Media - How we can make it work for you" Tutorial - sponsored by CBS,

    NBC, ABC, CNN, the Washington Post and the New York Times

    9:15 PM - Tribute Film to Brave Freedom Fighters incarcerated at GITMO - Michael Moore

    9:30 PM - Anthony Weiner entertains audience with his personal slide presentation

    9:45 PM - Personal Finance Seminar - Rep. Charlie Rangel

    10:00 PM - Denunciation of Gun Owners and Bible readers

    10:30 PM - Ceremonial Waving of White Flag for IRAQ and Afghanistan

    11:00 PM - Obama Energy Plan Symposium / Tire Gauge Demonstration / You too can get rich

    with Green Investment bankruptcies

    11:15 PM - Free Gov. Blagovich rally

    11:30 PM - Obama Accepts Oscar, Tony and Latin Grammy Awards

    12:00 AM - Official Nomination of Obama by Bill Maher and Chris "He sends a thrill up my

    leg" Matthews

    12:05 AM - Celestial Choirs Sing

    3:00 AM - Joe Biden wakes up and delivers acceptance speech to an empty room

    (The convention was over at 12:30 AM)
    Fantastic opening day schedule there Delta. You forgot however to give the second and third days schedule. The second day schedule will be devoted to speeches by Obama and his commie loving lackeys blaming Bush for all his failed Marxist polices (unemployment, 5 trillion dollars of new dept, etc.).

    The third day will be a series of seminars of lessons learned on how to steal the election given by Alcorn on their experiences in gangster land the city of Chicago. And finally a speech by a prominent mystery libertarian speaker explaining why Libertarians should vote communist (Democrat) this year to keep the evil Republicans from getting control of our now communist controled government. Thank you, thank you very much
    "I could have ended the war in a month. I could have made North Vietnam look like a mud puddle."
    "I have little interest in streamlining government or in making it more efficient, for I mean to reduce its size. I do not undertake to promote welfare, for I propose to extend freedom. My aim is not to pass laws, but to repeal them. It is not to inaugurate new programs, but to cancel old ones that do violence to the Constitution."
    Barry Goldwater

  4. #4
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    I thought the Muslims were suppose to be heading the opening ceremonies with a pancake, bacon and sausage breakfast.
    Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference. —Mark Twain

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by printer2 View Post
    I thought the Muslims were suppose to be heading the opening ceremonies with a pancake, bacon and sausage breakfast.
    Good try Printer but still not as funny as the schedule.

    You gonna speak at this to-do function?

    Figured Clint Eastwood could as easily speak to two empty chairs as one.
    "The American Republic will endure until the day Congress discovers it can bribe the public with the public's own money.
    - Alexis de Toqueville, 1835

  6. #6
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    And, for your added pleasure..........

    Name:  obamameetseastwood.jpg
Views: 168
Size:  70.8 KB
    "The American Republic will endure until the day Congress discovers it can bribe the public with the public's own money.
    - Alexis de Toqueville, 1835

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by DeltaT View Post
    Good try Printer but still not as funny as the schedule.
    I probably did not spend as much time at it.
    Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference. —Mark Twain

  8. #8
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    OK how about this one.

    "The Real Romney

    By DAVID BROOKS
    Published: August 28, 2012

    The purpose of the Republican convention is to introduce America to the real Mitt Romney. Fortunately, I have spent hours researching this subject. I can provide you with the definitive biography and a unique look into the Byronic soul of the Republican nominee:

    Mitt Romney was born on March 12, 1947, in Ohio, Florida, Michigan, Virginia and several other swing states. He emerged, hair first, believing in America, and especially its national parks. He was given the name Mitt, after the Roman god of mutual funds, and launched into the world with the lofty expectation that he would someday become the Arrow shirt man.
    Romney was a precocious and gifted child. He uttered his first words ("I like to fire people") at age 14 months, made his first gaffe at 15 months and purchased his first nursery school at 24 months. The school, highly leveraged, went under, but Romney made 24 million Jujubes on the deal.


    Mitt grew up in a modest family. His father had an auto body shop called the American Motors Corporation, and his mother owned a small piece of land, Brazil. He had several boyhood friends, many of whom owned Nascar franchises, and excelled at school, where his fourth-grade project, "Inspiring Actuaries I Have Known," was widely admired.


    The Romneys had a special family tradition. The most cherished member got to spend road trips on the roof of the car. Mitt spent many happy hours up there, applying face lotion to combat windburn.


    The teenage years were more turbulent. He was sent to a private school, where he was saddened to find there are people in America who summer where they winter. He developed a lifelong concern for the second homeless, and organized bake sales with proceeds going to the moderately rich.


    Some people say he retreated into himself during these years. He had a pet rock, which ran away from home because it was starved of affection. He bought a mood ring, but it remained permanently transparent. His ability to turn wine into water detracted from his popularity at parties.


    There was, frankly, a period of wandering. After hearing Lou Reed's "Walk on the Wild Side," Romney decided to leave Mormonism and become Amish. He left the Amish faith because of its ban on hair product, and bounced around before settling back in college. There, he majored in music, rendering Mozart's entire oeuvre in PowerPoint.


    His love affair with Ann Davies, the most impressive part of his life, restored his equilibrium. Always respectful, Mitt and Ann decided to elope with their parents. They went on a trip to Israel, where they tried and failed to introduce the concept of reticence. Romney also went on a mission to France. He spent two years knocking on doors, failing to win a single convert. This was a feat he would replicate during his 2008 presidential bid.


    After his mission, he attended Harvard, studying business, law, classics and philosophy, though intellectually his first love was always tax avoidance. After Harvard, he took his jawline to Bain Consulting, a firm with very smart people with excessive personal hygiene. While at Bain, he helped rescue many outstanding companies, like Pan Am, Eastern Airlines, Atari and DeLorean.


    Romney was extremely detail oriented in his business life. He once canceled a corporate retreat at which Abba had been hired to play, saying he found the band's music "too angry."


    Romney is also a passionately devoted family man. After streamlining his wife's pregnancies down to six months each, Mitt helped Ann raise five perfect sons - Bip, Chip, Rip, Skip and Dip - who married identically tanned wives. Some have said that Romney's lifestyle is overly privileged, pointing to the fact that he has an elevator for his cars in the garage of his San Diego home. This is not entirely fair. Romney owns many homes without garage elevators and the cars have to take the stairs.


    After a successful stint at Bain, Romney was lured away to run the Winter Olympics, the second most Caucasian institution on earth, after the G.O.P. He then decided to run for governor of Massachusetts. His campaign slogan, "Vote Romney: More Impressive Than You'll Ever Be," was not a hit, but Romney won the race anyway on an environmental platform, promising to make the state safe for steeplechase.


    After his governorship, Romney suffered through a midlife crisis, during which he became a social conservative. This prepared the way for his presidential run. He barely won the 2012 Republican primaries after a grueling nine-month campaign, running unopposed. At the convention, where his Secret Service nickname is Mannequin, Romney will talk about his real-life record: successful business leader, superb family man, effective governor, devoted community leader and prudent decision-maker. If elected, he promises to bring all Americans together and make them feel inferior. "
    Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference. —Mark Twain

  9. #9
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    Actually, that is quite funny and creative. I wonder what the author does for a living. Stating that AMC Motors was a body shop is close to true if you ever purchased any of their vehicles back in the 80's.

    But the brief sanopus (a big word, look it up) of the event time table I presented flows much more easily with specific and double (as in the Far Side Cartoon double) humorous meaning. So it is much preferred vs. the rough and tumble of the broken up paragraphs this writer presents.











    And yes, I handed you a bone.
    "The American Republic will endure until the day Congress discovers it can bribe the public with the public's own money.
    - Alexis de Toqueville, 1835

  10. #10
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    You forgot the special appearance to made by these guys.....

    YOU SHALL REAP WHAT YOU HAVE _______ SOWN

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by DeltaT View Post
    Actually, that is quite funny and creative. I wonder what the author does for a living. Stating that AMC Motors was a body shop is close to true if you ever purchased any of their vehicles back in the 80's.

    But the brief sanopus (a big word, look it up) of the event time table I presented flows much more easily with specific and double (as in the Far Side Cartoon double) humorous meaning. So it is much preferred vs. the rough and tumble of the broken up paragraphs this writer presents.











    And yes, I handed you a bone.
    I see the difference in both but I have to give credit to the second as a couple of items gave me reason to grin.
    Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference. —Mark Twain

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by DeltaT View Post
    Actually, that is quite funny and creative. I wonder what the author does for a living. Stating that AMC Motors was a body shop is close to true if you ever purchased any of their vehicles back in the 80's.

    But the brief sanopus (a big word, look it up) of the event time table I presented flows much more easily with specific and double (as in the Far Side Cartoon double) humorous meaning. So it is much preferred vs. the rough and tumble of the broken up paragraphs this writer presents.











    And yes, I handed you a bone.
    you are correct..it is a big word. that you can't spell.

    synopsis

    you weren't even close.
    FILL OUT YOUR PROFILE!!

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by tinner73 View Post
    you are correct..it is a big word. that you can't spell.

    synopsis

    you weren't even close.
    I knew what he ment and that is good enough for me.
    Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference. —Mark Twain

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