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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov 2000
    Coastal Georgia
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    This was up a while back.

    I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.


    One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

    Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

    I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

    So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

    "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

    She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

    Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

    The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each outfit."

    We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

    I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all
    dear, let's go to the cashier."

    I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

    Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, "WHAT?"

    I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

    And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

    Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that b$..@h knows I'm smarter than her.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
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    good job

    good for you that's telling her yes so happy to her it

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Los Angeles, CALIFA
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    I still laugh every time I read that. It reminds me of my ex-wife. I kind of did the same thing. We were in Maui for our honeymoon and found a Nordstroms. We went in and i told her that she could buy 2 new outfits, 2 pairs of shoes, and a new watch, $$$$ was no object at that time. After about 3 hours of shopping, it came time to pay, I reached into my wallet and low and behold, I forgot my Credit Card at the Hotel. With a pissed off look in her face she pulled out her Credit Card. UH Ohh MAXED OUT. I started laughing my A$$ Off. The look on her face was priceless. Being the nice guy that I am I told her "let me run back to the hotel and I will get my card, it should only take about 20 Min" Well to my suprise, the main road from the mall to the hotel was completely shut down and I was literally not moving for about an hour. I couldn't call her because there was no reception in the mall. When I finally got to the hotel, I opened the door and there she was Nordstrom bags in hand. I asked her how? when? "WTF"!!! How did you get here before me and how did you pay for the clothes. She starts explaining to me that she applied for a Nordstom credit card, which you/me will be paying off when we get home and she took a cab & and different route back to the hotel. I asked "why didn't you call me?" she said Why should I have? you didn't call me when you were stuck in traffic. I told her I did, there was apperently no reception in the mall. Well That night, after dinner with no conversation, she went to bed and ended up sleeping on the couch, for the first time and definitely not the last
    Do as I say, not as I do

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    where you at?
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    uhhh, a little too much info.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jul 2002
    Slacking off right now
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    Dang it James you have summed it up again - The best tool bags on the market - The offical tool bag of choice by techs everywhere

    Arguing with some people is like wrestling a pig - eventually you realise the pig actually enjoys it

    Gonads serve a useful purpose but are no substitute for brains

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