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  1. #1
    I awoke this morning to my wife's question ... "Honey, what are you doing with my "water pitcher" ?
    "And why is it sitting beside your breathing machine?" (C-PAP)
    Then she exclaims: "I sure hope you didnt use it to refill your machine!"
    By now, I'm wondering what she's talkin about... When I see it's one of those plastic pitchers they give you in the hospital when you spend a night ...(or two), I told her I used it the night before ... to fill up my water resivoir.

    She goes: "OH NO!!!" I USED IT TO WATER THE HOUSEPLANTS AND IT HAS Miracle Grow IN THERE!!!"


    She's a nurse. So she phones the Miracle Grow HOTLINE and proceeds to explain to this poor unsuspecting woman on the other end, what I had suposedly done and is asking what the results might be...
    Meanwhile, the next door neighbor walks in for coffee and asks "what was I thinking?"


    Susan says the woman on the line wants to know "how do I feeeeel?"
    I say: "I feel bloomin' greeeeeat!"

    By now, everyone is laughin their tail off!

    As I'm in the kitchen making breakfast, I remembered I had prepared some late night fruit snacks and thought about something else to share with them. So I said: "Oh, Honey, last night I swallowed a watermellon seed. Do you think I'm gonna start sprouting soon?"


    Susan tells the woman, (who by now has a crowd gathered around her cubicle- all laughing), "I was hoping your product might encourage growth on my husband's bald spot."
    "But NOT nasal hair!"


    About this time, I walk back into the room and say; "I feel so good right now, I might sprout wings and FLY!"


  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2003
    Location
    Cincinnati
    Posts
    7,977
    I'm laughing pretty good at this one right now. Wait till I tell my wife.

  3. #3
    My son just walked in the door. Susan asked if he washed out that pitcher last night. I showed it to him.

    He goes: "No."


    ............oh well, guess we'll see what "sprouts" of this new ingestion

  4. #4
    Susan asks me to lean forward ... I do as she inspects the top of my head.

    "Why... I do believe I see some new growth up there!"




  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Posts
    2,407
    too much, just too much. that's great

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Posts
    1,035
    Id soak the weiner in it...maybe mine will grow some
    73% of Americans say that illegal immigration is a problem. The other 27% say, "No habla inglis!"

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Mar 2003
    Location
    Cincinnati
    Posts
    7,977
    Originally posted by doglips
    Id soak the weiner in it...maybe mine will grow some
    It'll turn green though.

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