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Thread: Bummer stuff

  1. #53
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    When they are gone you will then spend time Grieving and processing the whole situation. Upon reflection you may thank your self for just spending the time you can with them - its the least and the most you can do for them and your self.


    In time you will be at peace with your self for you will realise the best thing you did was just spend time with them its what you will remember and you will feel better about it
    www.vetopropac.com - The best tool bags on the market - The offical tool bag of choice by techs everywhere

    Arguing with some people is like wrestling a pig - eventually you realise the pig actually enjoys it

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  2. #54
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    Nov 2000
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    Well, older sister is supposed to be taking mom back down tomorrow to see younger sister. I cannot get away yet so this buys me a little time.

    Younger sister sounds a bit too confused about whether she will be able to leave the hospital or not, so we will need to check directly with the doctors. Older sister will get the real story from docs tomorrow.

    It is really a shame to say, but getting accurate info from my younger sister has never been achievable. No one in the family even believed she was really sick until we spoke to her doctors at the hospital.

    Nonetheless; she is in trouble for certain now and we need to do what we can to make her final days bearable and help her prepare for eternity.
    Government is a disease...
    ...masquerading as its own cure…
    Ecclesiastes 10:2 NIV


  3. #55
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    Nov 2000
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    Well; Lisa and I took my mom to see my sister at the hospital today. Seven hours in my truck with mom is no pleasure cruise. I finally stuck a Kid Rock cd in to drown out her incesant complaining about everything over and over and over.

    Anyway, my 46 year old sister looks like she is in her sixties. She really looks surreal because her natural color brown hair with very little grey in it does not match her prematurely aged face. She however, is keeping up a very good attitude considering the circumstances.

    I decided to treat my sister exactly as I always have with just a little more sincere good things tossed into the mix. Hopefully she will be able to get well enough from the operation to at least be able to go home to die.

    Her main concerns are for her animals well being after she is gone and that if any of her good organs are to be used, they go directly to a person in need and not to research which she has been convinced is not producing enough results with the organ gifts they have received over the years.

    She is really hoping to be able to get into a support group so she can help even more terminal cancer patients prepare for death and newer terminal patients come to grips with only having a limite time left as a mortal being. I suppose this is better then an accident where there is no time for anyone to prepare.
    Government is a disease...
    ...masquerading as its own cure…
    Ecclesiastes 10:2 NIV


  4. #56
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Posts
    358
    Robo,

    Sounds like you have figured out your own path thru this. That'll help a lot.
    Also sounds like your sister is making the best of a horrible situation. Sometimes those closest to death have a strange peace. A friend died of pancreatic cancer at age 47. She was always a bit superficial, and we weren't very close, but I wanted to say goodbye to her. She had a steadiness to her I had never seen. Toward the end she was rarely lucid, so don't be surprised if that happens.

    I don't know if this is appropriate, but we have two new babies in my extended family. The oldest developed an extremely high fever & was hospitalized for several days. Same time, same hospital, the newest arrived on July 6th via emergency c-section. She's my sister-in-law's first grandbaby. Everybody's ok but the adults are pooped. Being at that hospital was even harder for the in-laws because their father/husband died a lingering death from cancer in that same hospital. So the cycle continues, and we do the best we can.

    Keeping you in thoughts and prayers-

  5. #57
    Robo: Get a copy of "Hanging out with Labcoats" for your sister at http://www.foxpress.com/. I know the author personally. It's a really cool book with lots of resources for anyone with cancer. Particularly it deals with a sudden diagnosis of breast cancer in advanced stages and family and doctor interactions and a search for lots of information and a desire to diseminate that information. She is defying the odds and says that her eating habits have made a significant difference. Wendi is publishing the book herself. One thing that she did was to create an email list of co-workers and friends and have kept everyone informed of what's been happening.

  6. #58
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    Jun 2006
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    Missouri
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    That is really cool you finally made it to see her. I am sure it means more to her than you will ever know.

    Just make sure you keep it up. Your doing good, hang in there. You and your family are in all of our thoughts and prayers.

    Brandy

  7. #59
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    Nov 2000
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    Eastern PA
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    Originally posted by keepitsimplestupid
    Robo: Get a copy of "Hanging out with Labcoats" for your sister at http://www.foxpress.com/. I know the author personally. It's a really cool book with lots of resources for anyone with cancer. Particularly it deals with a sudden diagnosis of breast cancer in advanced stages and family and doctor interactions and a search for lots of information and a desire to diseminate that information. She is defying the odds and says that her eating habits have made a significant difference. Wendi is publishing the book herself. One thing that she did was to create an email list of co-workers and friends and have kept everyone informed of what's been happening.
    I'll download what is available from that link on the web. The book itself won't be available until November and my sister is not expected to live that long. Wow! That was even difficult to type, like I may be jinxing her or something.
    Government is a disease...
    ...masquerading as its own cure…
    Ecclesiastes 10:2 NIV


  8. #60
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    Eastern PA
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    I think talking about births is very appropriate. I do not believe that this mortal existance is what we are really all about, so I try to maintain that physical death is just being set free from the bondage of mortality. That is absolutely the only way I can continue knowing that children die.

    I am worried about my dad as well. He is truly not able to travel and will most likely never see his daughter again. To make things worse, my mom is just a mean person when it comes to my dad. When we were leaving to go see my sister, my mom made a comment to my dad that he should not let being "inconvenienced" stop him from seeing his daughter. The man cannot go 30 minutes without a bathroom and is barely able to hold himself in a sitting position in his lift chair. Damn that woman can be mean!

    My mom of course is also suffering very badly. Children should not die before parents.
    Government is a disease...
    ...masquerading as its own cure…
    Ecclesiastes 10:2 NIV


  9. #61
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Location
    SE Michigan
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    17,815
    Man...Im bummed out. Hang in there dude!
    "Politicians are the lowest form of life on Earth. Liberal Democrats are the lowest form of politician"

    - General George S. Patton

  10. #62
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    Nov 2000
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    Eastern PA
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    The prayers are very welcomed. I didn't even know that my sister was a person of faith, but she constantly states that God mush need her more then we do right now. That is the only comforting thing for me. Knowing my sister believes in her spiritual nature makes it easier to watch her pass on.
    Government is a disease...
    ...masquerading as its own cure…
    Ecclesiastes 10:2 NIV


  11. #63
    Join Date
    Nov 2000
    Location
    Eastern PA
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    Originally posted by coolwhip
    Man...Im bummed out. Hang in there dude!
    I know this is a bummer subject and I really hate bringing people down. Really; this thread is a very self centered thread about you guys helping me, so don't take on my grief enough to make you sad. Even while my sister is the one dying, this thread is all about me
    Government is a disease...
    ...masquerading as its own cure…
    Ecclesiastes 10:2 NIV


  12. #64

  13. #65
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Posts
    358
    Robo,

    Is there any way you could rig up a webcam so your Dad could at least SEE your sister once more?

    I would hope the hospital would have a broadband connection available for such a use, and you could use a laptop & maybe cable internet connection at your Dad's...or take him somewhere nearby that has it.

    Meanness can be really hard to take. It's ironic that you need to become closer to your family, while at the same time protecting yourself from them... I always have to remind myself that I can't control other peoples' behavior, however much I'd like to, LOL!

    I also think there's a huge difference between being selfish and asking for help. Frankly, asking for help is harder because you've admitted there's something you can't handle. It simply never occurs to selfish people that there's something they can't handle, and they handle THAT by pulling others into their little dramas.

    Thank YOU for the opportunity to have a meaningful conversation about life, death and dying.

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