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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Posts
    1,035

    Talking

    These are the unavoidable laws of the natural universe...

    1. Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.

    2. Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

    3. Law of probability: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

    4. Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

    5. Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

    6. Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now. (works every time).

    7. Bath Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

    8. Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

    9. Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

    10. Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

    11. Theater Rule: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

    12. Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

    13. Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

    14. Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich of landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness, color and cost of the carpet/rug.

    15. Law of Location: No matter where you go, there you are.

    16. Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

    17. Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

    18. Oliver's Law: A closed mouth gathers no feet.

    19. Wilson's Law: As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
    73% of Americans say that illegal immigration is a problem. The other 27% say, "No habla inglis!"

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Location
    SC
    Posts
    20,677
    "Canine Law": That irresistable force that draws a dog's nose to a stranger's crotch.
    No reserve. No retreat. No regrets.

    For those who have fought for it, freedom has a sweetness the protected will never know.

    http://www.airwarvietnam.com/16thSOSGunners2.jpg

    Proud member of KA Club

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Aug 2002
    Location
    Office and warehouse in both Crystal River & New Port Richey ,FL
    Posts
    18,836
    As Geoge Carlin said,when you meet the parents.....


    "Don't Pet The DOG!!"

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