"In retrospect, lighting the match was my big mistake. But I was only trying to retrieve the gerbil," Eric T. told doctors in the Severe Burns Unit of Salt Lake City Hospital. Eric, and his sexual partner "K," had been admitted for emergency treatment after a felching session had gone seriously wrong. "I pushed a cardboard tube up [K's] rectum and slipped our pet gerbil in," he explained. "As usual, K shouted out 'Armageddon,' my cue that he'd had enough. I tried to retrieve the gerbil but he wouldn't come out again, so I peered into the tube and struck a match, thinking the light might attract him." At a hushed press conference, a hospital spokesman described what happened next. "The match ignited a pocket of intestinal gas and a flame shot out the tube, igniting Eric's hair and severely burning his face. It also set fire to the gerbil's fur and whiskers which in turn ignited a larger pocket of gas further up the intestine, propelling the rodent out like a cannonball." Eric suffered second degree burns and a broken nose from the impact of the gerbil, while K suffered first and second degree burns to his anus and lower intestinal tract. No word was forthcoming on the gerbil's condition. From an article in the Los Angeles Times. Submitted by Karen Pitts to the Sjφgren's Syndrome mail list