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    Cute..

    Here it's illegal for the Police to lurk around parking lots of taverns. Don't know how that law got started but it has been upheld in court. Course there's ways around that law. Only DWI I got...
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    Tommy Shaughnessy entered the confessional box...

    Tommy Shaughnessy entered the confessional box and said:
    "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose woman."

    At which point the priest asked, "Is that you, little Tommy...
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    Got that happening in I think Dakota county. ...

    Got that happening in I think Dakota county. Last I heard the farmer was going to invest in a bunch of pigs for his farm to harass the neighbors back. Some investors developed some land that...
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    #19

    Those were good also, BJ.
    I was hoping to get an answer to my ? so I can sleep tonite
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    HEY! Congrats on post 2,000! YeeeeHaaaa! ...

    HEY! Congrats on post 2,000! YeeeeHaaaa!

    Kinda like that NFL player getting the record number of sacks in a season thanks to the good graces of Master Brett Favre. OOOOOOhhh, the devil made me...
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    #19 I wonder if the quacker you buy in the...

    #19
    I wonder if the quacker you buy in the sporting goods store to call ducks will echo? Anyone got one to try it?
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    l. Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being...

    l. Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model: "I want all the kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I want all the kids to copulate me"

    2. New Orleans Saints RB George Rogers...
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    Two men are driving thru Minnesota when they get...

    Two men are driving thru Minnesota when they get pulled over by a State Trooper. The cop walks up and taps on the window with his flashlight. The driver rolls down the window and WHACK!, the cop...
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    IDIOTS IN SERVICE This week all our office...

    IDIOTS IN SERVICE

    This week all our office phones went dead and I had to contact the telphone repair people. They promised to be out between 8:00am and 7:00pm. When I asked if they could give me...
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    Good Grief

    Marilyn Savant and Columbo just showed up. Actually I like both.
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    After all those crazy calculations are done, what...

    After all those crazy calculations are done, what is the probability that anyone is correct? 1 in 23?
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    My mother-in-law started walking five miles a day...

    My mother-in-law started walking five miles a day when she was 65. She's 85 now and we don't know where the hell she is.

    The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy...
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    According to the Alaska Department of Fish and...

    According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game:

    Both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late...
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    It was the first day of school and a new student...

    It was the first day of school and a new student named Suzuki, the son of a Japanese businessman, entered the fourth grade. The teacher said:

    "Let's begin by reviewing some American history. Who...
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    What's the odds of me seeing those Cheerleaders...

    What's the odds of me seeing those Cheerleaders in the playoffs this year, Wolf?
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    We been fortunate here with the Vikings. I know,...

    We been fortunate here with the Vikings. I know, we can't win the big one, we choke, but, what the hey....We usually get to watch our team play a game or two in the playoffs.
    And guess we win more...
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    Minnesota Vikings football practice was delayed...

    Minnesota Vikings football practice was delayed on Monday for nearly two hours. One of the players, while on his way to the locker room happened to look down and noticed a suspicious looking unknown...
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    I could think of at least five other responses...

    I could think of at least five other responses you could have given instead of "You want us now, Frank?" Next time try, "The party you wish to speak to is no longer accepting calls at this nimber,...
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    Or worse yet Bama, "I've got this last call,"...

    Or worse yet Bama, "I've got this last call," (it's 4pm on Friday), "sounds like it's just a blower motor, don't know what brand, we haven't been there before, and the call came in about 10am but I...
  20. Thread: Balls

    by Mnfatman
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    READ THE FOLLOWING SIX STATEMENTS AND THE...

    READ THE FOLLOWING SIX STATEMENTS AND THE CONCLUSION THEY LEAD TO:

    l. The sport of choice for the urban poor is:
    BASKETBALL
    2. The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is:
    ...
  21. Thread: 9mm or not?

    by Mnfatman
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    Hey Dice

    What about Paul Harvey? Saw the reference to him on Bruce's thread. He carry a 9mm? Don't listen to him a lot but always get a chuckle or two out of his commentaries. Man, I first heard him in...
  22. Thread: 9mm or not?

    by Mnfatman
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    Nice link James, thanks a bunch, you betcha.

    Nice link James, thanks a bunch, you betcha.
  23. Thread: 9mm or not?

    by Mnfatman
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    317,336

    St Paul Pioneer Press

    front page article in Saturdays paper told about having National Guard troops at our airport. Went on to state that they carried M-16's AND 9mm HANDGUNS. These (9mm's) standard issue for Guardsman...
  24. Thread: 9mm or not?

    by Mnfatman
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    What a guy. Now I will go to your thread. And...

    What a guy. Now I will go to your thread. And tell Boss to order two Porsches, both with 50 cal.s and we'll send you both to the Afgan border. Call you the 9mm piece force.
  25. Thread: 9mm or not?

    by Mnfatman
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    Re: Huuuuuuumm Mnfatman

    Naw, got it from an uncle who died a few years back. He used to carry it in his line of work. Well, not work actually, cause he was known for not ever working. Seems, he split from here and went...
  26. Thread: 9mm or not?

    by Mnfatman
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    Nothing personal Bruce.....

    It's just that once we had a hobby farm and we raised some goats and I hear Dice likes em too. Actually I don't but the wife did raise em. I got to clean up after em tho.
  27. Thread: 9mm or not?

    by Mnfatman
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    317,336

    ?

    Did ya'all notice the question to Dice? Now that requires an answer, right? Sorry Bruce. I have not been to your thread yet. What would be the point? Please reply here Bruce. LOL.
  28. Thread: 9mm or not?

    by Mnfatman
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    317,336

    1st post on this thread

    but I've read thru pages off and on since it started. Go ahead shoot a gun straight up, I used my slide rule and allowing for windage and the rotation of the earth, you are in the safest place. ...
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    10 Finally, go on acquiring power in the Lord and...

    10 Finally, go on acquiring power in the Lord and in the mightyness of his strength.
    11 Put on the complete suit of armor from God that you may be able to stand firm against the machinations of the...
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    oops.

    Meant Rowan and Martin's Laugh In.
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    Ya!

    And the rest of the Steve Allen gang. Just watched 5 min of R & W's LaughIn with the wife last nite. Both agreed we must have been stoned to laugh at that chit.......Time's change.
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    What do hemmoroids and cowboy hats have in common?

    What do hemmoroids and cowboy hats have in common?
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    >landed on Mars after accumulating enough...

    >landed on Mars after accumulating enough frequent flier miles. They met a Martian couple and were talking about all sorts of things. Mike asked if Mars had a stock market, if they had laptop...
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    #'s 3,4,5, & 6 sure could be worked on here at...

    #'s 3,4,5, & 6 sure could be worked on here at HVAC-Talk
  35. Thread: Hehehe

    by Mnfatman
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    http://www.bumperdumper.com and maybe...

    http://www.bumperdumper.com and maybe http://www.bumperdumper.com/bumper2.htm
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    In the beginning was the Plan And then came the...

    In the beginning was the Plan
    And then came the Assumptions
    And the assumptions were without form
    And the Plan was without Substance
    And darkness was upon the face of the Workers
    And the workers...
  37. Thread: Funny Signs

    by Mnfatman
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    Sign outside Planned Parenthood clinic. ENTRANCE...

    Sign outside Planned Parenthood clinic. ENTRANCE IN REAR
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    Ah, yes divorce...... from the latin word,...

    Ah, yes divorce......
    from the latin word, meaning
    to rip out a man's genitals
    thru his wallet.
    -Robin Williams

    Women complain about
    premenstrual syndrome but I think
    of it as the only time...
  39. Thread: Speeding

    by Mnfatman
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    kinda like

    what goes around, comes around. I took it off an email I got from a guy in Chicago. My apologies to swany.
  40. Thread: Speeding

    by Mnfatman
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    A guy gets pulled over for speeding. Cop: Can...

    A guy gets pulled over for speeding.

    Cop: Can I see your license please?

    Driver: I don't have a license, it was suspended when I got pulled over for my last DUI.

    Cop: Can I see your...
  41. Thread: scrabble

    by Mnfatman
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    These are clever, from someone deadly at scrabble...

    These are clever, from someone deadly at scrabble I guess.

    DORMITORY
    rearranged it becomes:
    Dirty Room

    Evangelist: Evil's agent
    Desperation: A rope ends it
    The morse code: Here comes dots...
  42. Thread: Civilization

    by Mnfatman
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    "For the first time ever in the history of...

    "For the first time ever in the history of mankind, the wilderness is safer than 'civilization'."
    Faith Popcorn "The Popcorn Report"

    Civilization, let me tell you what it...
  43. Thread: Black & White

    by Mnfatman
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    Amen

    Just noticed that Charlie Chan made it to Satellite TV. May have been around awhile, I dont know, but I want more. Hope Ted Turner dont ruin it by coloring it. 13 yr old looks at B&W and shrugs,...
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    Cause

    they do it but first anyway.
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    Hey !

    With discipline like that you could be a dispatcher!
  46. Thread: A great day

    by Mnfatman
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    YOU GOTTA GET YOUR MIND RIGHT LUKE !!!!!! You...

    YOU GOTTA GET YOUR MIND RIGHT LUKE !!!!!!

    You cant be eating wheaties and reading playboy before work. You'll probably stick your finger in the wrong place on your first call.
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    Two couples were playing cards. Jeff accidently...

    Two couples were playing cards. Jeff accidently dropped some cards on the floor. When he bent down under the table to pick them up, he noticed that Dave's wife, Sandy, was not wearing any...
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    A big city California lawyer went duck hunting in...

    A big city California lawyer went duck hunting in rural Texas. He shot and dropped a bird, but, it fell into a farmers field on the other side of a fence.

    As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an...
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    For anyone who didnt see David Letterman's take...

    For anyone who didnt see David Letterman's take on this:
    (And it's a true story...)
    On a recent weekend in Atlantic City, a woman won a bucketful of quarters at a slot machine. She took a break...
  50. Thread: The Atheist

    by Mnfatman
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    Dr. Laura

    Hey just listen to her overall message. It's good, clean, and is what this country needs right now. Sure, she can be a pain on the eardrums, and has her quirks. What gets to me is if I dont change...
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