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Type: Posts; User: jaymax

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  1. Replies
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    My SH*T does not stink !

    My SH*T does not stink !
  2. Replies
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    1,354

    Top Ten Old West Phrases That Will Never Sound...

    Top Ten Old West Phrases That Will Never Sound The Same After "Broke Back Mountain" Movie

    1. "I'm gonna pump you fulla lead!"

    2. "Give me a stiff one, barkeep!"

    3. "Don't fret---I've been in...
  3. Thread: Living Will

    by jaymax
    Replies
    6
    Views
    476

    Last night, my wife and I were sitting in the...

    Last night, my wife and I were sitting in the living room talking about many things. The idea of a living will came up and I said to
    her:

    "I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on...
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    World's Thinnest Books FRENCH WAR HEROES...

    World's Thinnest Books

    FRENCH WAR HEROES
    FRENCH WAR HEROES
    by Jacques Chirac



    THINGS I LOVE ABOUT MY COUNTRY
    by Jane Fonda & Cindy Sheehan. Illustrated by Michael Moore
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    Two women were playing golf. One teed off and...

    Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched
    in horror as her ball headed directly toward a
    foursome of men playing the next hole. The ball hit
    one of the men. He immediately clasped...
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    A man came home from work, sat down in his ...

    A man came home from work, sat down in his favorite chair, turned on The TV,and said to his wife, "Quick, bring me a beer before it starts"

    She looked a little puzzled, but brought him a beer....
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    A crusty old Sergeant Major found himself at a...

    A crusty old Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local
    liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young, idealistic
    ladies in attendance, one of whom approached...
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    On Wednesday at two minutes and three...

    On Wednesday

    at two minutes and three seconds after 1:00 in the morning,

    the time and date will be 01:02:03 04/05/06.

    This won't ever happen again.

    ...Way Cool...
  9. Thread: Hymn 365

    by jaymax
    Replies
    1
    Views
    958

    A minister was completing a Temperance sermon....

    A minister was completing a
    Temperance sermon. With great emphasis he said, "If I
    had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river."






    With even greater emphasis...
  10. Thread: D U H

    by jaymax
    Replies
    0
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    925

    I pulled into the crowded parking lot at the...

    I pulled into the crowded parking lot at the Super Wal-Mart
    Shopping Center and rolled down the car windows to make sure my Labrador Retriever Pup had fresh air.She was stretched full-out on the...
  11. Thread: Police Comments

    by jaymax
    Replies
    0
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    947

    The following 15 Police Comments were taken off...

    The following 15 Police Comments were taken off of actual police car videos around the country.

    #15. "Relax; the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them...
  12. Thread: Bad Luck

    by jaymax
    Replies
    1
    Views
    1,080

    A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of...

    A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several
    months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day.
    One day, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he...
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    Men strike back! ! ! ! ! ! ! How many men does...

    Men strike back! ! ! ! ! ! !
    How many men does it take to open a beer?
    None. It should be opened when she brings it.
    -------------------------------------------------------------------
    Why is...
  14. Thread: old joke

    by jaymax
    Replies
    0
    Views
    1,016

    An elderly couple was attending church services,...

    An elderly couple was attending church services, about halfway through
    she
    leans over and says, " I just had a silent fart what do you think I
    should do?"

    He replies " Put a new battery in...
  15. Thread: lawnmower

    by jaymax
    Replies
    0
    Views
    918

    When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my...

    When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me

    that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take

    care of first, the truck, the car, fishing,...
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    First time 2men about 4 hours Those lead...

    First time 2men about 4 hours

    Those lead lined blankets are heavy.
  17. Thread: babies

    by jaymax
    Replies
    0
    Views
    928

    The Smiths were unable to conceive children and...

    The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a
    surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was
    to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said,...
  18. Thread: My new gig

    by jaymax
    Replies
    9
    Views
    1,154

    Hey Ozone Give me a call and I will treat you...

    Hey Ozone Give me a call and I will treat you to lunch or dinner.


    James Poplin
    713-979-0720
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    Fun Things to Think About 1. Money isn't made...

    Fun Things to Think About

    1. Money isn't made out of paper, it's made out of cotton.

    2. The Declaration of Independence was written on hemp paper.

    3. The dot over the letter I is called a...
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    848

    One afternoon a wealthy lawyer was riding in his...

    One afternoon a wealthy lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw
    two men along the roadside eating grass. Disturbed, he ordered his
    driver to stop and he got out to investigate the...
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    Turbine Air System Inc. Houston Texas...

    Turbine Air System Inc. Houston Texas 713-440-9328

    [Edited by jaymax on 01-20-2006 at 04:58 PM]
  22. Thread: letter to god

    by jaymax
    Replies
    1
    Views
    877

    There was a man who worked for the Post Office, ...

    There was a man who worked for the Post Office, whose job it was to
    >process all the mail that had Illegible addresses. One day, a letter came
    >to his desk, addressed in a shaky handwriting,...
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    Did you hear about the two blondes who froze to...

    Did you hear about the two blondes who froze to death in a drive-in movie?
    They went to see "Closed for the Winter.

    Why did the blonde resolve to have only 3 children?
    She heard that one out of...
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    2006 Houston Texans, Schedule ...

    2006 Houston Texans, Schedule







    2006 TEXANS SCHEDULE
    September 14................Taft Junior High School
  25. Replies
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    784

    Do you have feelings of inadequacy? Do you suffer...

    Do you have feelings of inadequacy? Do you suffer from shyness? Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive? If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about...
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