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Type: Posts; User: the pipe dope

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    I'm slipping.....

    I got drunk on two beers last night.......Numbers 28, and 29....
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    Thank You .....

    I have been looking for this list for quite some time. I can't remember where I read it....Drag News, National Dragster, or the like. The one I get the most resistance from is the revs per run...it's...
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    My Word!

    That should have came with a warning.....Oh well, I didn't want lunch anyway.
  4. Make sure the unit is on isolation pads, pull one...

    Make sure the unit is on isolation pads, pull one wire off the contactor, and wire it to the equipment ground.....CRIME SPREE THWARTED!
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    1,327

    Little sooty....check primary air adjustment..

    Little sooty....check primary air adjustment..
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    1,085

    O.K....I don't usually chime in on these being a...

    O.K....I don't usually chime in on these being a Bears fan.(we have been the target for years) BUT, I hear the Packers and Tampa are disbanding their respective teams and forming a new one together....
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    Yesterday, I met a one legged waitress at...

    Yesterday, I met a one legged waitress at Ihop...her name was Ilean..........(sorry)
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    So tight, he wouldn't give a nickel to se an...

    So tight, he wouldn't give a nickel to se an elephant turn a flip flop.
  9. O.K......I'll Do It......

    There ain't no F in way.....
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    I'd give my right leg to be a place kicker....

    I'd give my right leg to be a place kicker....
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    If'n that were mine.....

    I'd try something automatic in operation that would flush out the coils....something that could be retrofitted, possibly a trap primer feeding a small drip irrigation tube laced to the top of the...
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    Well, at least my monitor got cleaned.

    Coffee actually does a nice job. Thanks! I'll get alot of miles out of that one.
  13. Thread: NASCAR

    by the pipe dope
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    I tried a legends car......

    30 laps on dirt. I got out of the car and my arms wouldn't work. (hell, I could barely feel them) My back was tense for 2 days, and I thought I pulled a groin muscle from shifting. Being a lifelong...
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    I can't defend this.

    If this unit had an Inspector within 20 miles, It should have been caught. I'm not saying that it wasn't inspected either. The City I work for prefers to get Inspectors from the trade. Some find it...
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    MAN......

    I didn't need that.
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    Thank You .....

    This joke was refered to a couple of weeks ago at the bar, but no one could remember it all. I have a hard copy now.
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    Thinking back about all the cool Senior Citizens...

    Thinking back about all the cool Senior Citizens I have worked for, and some of the humor they could dish out. I overheard one OL Boy in my hometown tell a friend "He has about as much buissines with...
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    RoBoTeq........

    I'm there man....told it last night. Almost got the crap beat out of me, and had to buy the entire bar a round. Was told if ever I told another like that I would never see my family again.
  19. Thread: fat joke

    by the pipe dope
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    The thinnest thing in the world?.... A knat with...

    The thinnest thing in the world?.... A knat with its' butt stretched across a rain barrel.
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    The late great Hoyt Axton wrote a song like that.....

    Some folks are built like this, some folks are built like that, but the way i'm built don't you call me fat, cause I'm built for comfort...I ain't built for speed. But I got everything a good girl...
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    Thats correct....

    It should have a gas tight lid, and vented. I always installed them with a valve on each side of the check valve and union...not a code requirement, I'm just anal....
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    Two Old ones.....

    "Where your $h1t is our bread and butter". and "You say the word, we push the turd."
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    Brings to mind....

    What our code enforcement officer asked today..."is there enough money in the education budget to hire a sniper?" That contractor should be drawn and quartered. Sorry you have to deal with crap like...
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    OOOOH....we're runnin low...time fer a booze...

    OOOOH....we're runnin low...time fer a booze cruise. Hey..It takes alot o beer to build a racecar! (for some reason, we don't need near as much to fix it)
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    Too Cool!!!!

    That is the funniest thing I have seen to date. 100% outside air....got to be healthy. If ya need more wood, just driver out back an pick up a charge....but don't go to the hedge pile...last time...
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    alternate method.....

    120....one eye lights up. 240.....both eyes light up. 440...a thing pops out of your butt like a turkey when it's done.
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    Oh The Humanity..........

    The worse case of alcohol abuse I've ever seen....What were they thinking? I'll have nightmares for weeks now.
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    That's the norm here......

    Seems to work well with existing homes, but installs on new construction is another matter. The backfill around the foundations will not support the units. Some contractors are now fabricating an...
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    neat......

    So am I seeing correctly that no stub pieces were used and the coupling was "butt" soldered to each Tee? I'm sorry, I can't comprehend someone even trying that.....BUT, if we did that on every job,...
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    additionally.....

    You have to stop...G's the other direction.
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    Pretty amazing isn't it? 0-100 mph in less than a...

    Pretty amazing isn't it? 0-100 mph in less than a second. Another weird fact...from the time the car leaves the line to the top end, the engine turns only 500 rpm.
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    A blond walks into a library, and says " I'D LIKE...

    A blond walks into a library, and says " I'D LIKE A CHEESEBURGER, FRIES AND A COKE PLEASE. The librarian says, "but ma'm, this is a library." She says " i'm sorry, i'd like a cheeseburger, fries and...
  33. Thread: Rabbitt

    by the pipe dope
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    MAN...........

    I heard this one years ago, and went through years of therapy, and thousands of dollars, sitting through months in a self help group in order to wash this joke from my memory, and then along you...
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    Is the installing Co. still in buisiness?

    This goes beyond the "one year warrantee". Once a violation, always a violation...There is no statute of limitations on this. If a dog made this mess in your house, you'd rub his nose in it, and...
  35. Thread: WHO?

    by the pipe dope
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    All charges against Peter Tounshend for...

    All charges against Peter Tounshend for possession of child porn have been dropped........It seems the only witness against him was a deaf, dumb and blind kid. I'm so sorry.......
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    I wish to thank the academy, my fans, and most of all....

    BOSS!
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    http://www.imagewiz.net/images/hvac/94987_Mvc-005f...

    http://www.imagewiz.net/images/hvac/94987_Mvc-005f.jpg Well, did it work?
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    Some people are like a slinky.....mostly useless,...

    Some people are like a slinky.....mostly useless, but you just can't help but smile when you see one tumbling down a set of steps.
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    Know why Police have bigger balls than Firemen? ...

    Know why Police have bigger balls than Firemen? ...
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    This ol' boy's sitting on one end of a park...

    This ol' boy's sitting on one end of a park bench, when a young kid with a grocery bag full of candy bars sits down at the other end and starts to eat them one after the other. After watching this...
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    oh, my...

    This is one of those good ones..people laugh their butts off, and when you can't tell it anymore, you know you have had enough, and it's time to go home.
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    oh yea!

    If it's cooked right, it's just as good as bald eagle...
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    I was in the backyard trying to fly a kite, it...

    I was in the backyard trying to fly a kite, it wasn't going well. It would turn up and float back down rather quickly, all but crashing before it would start all over. The wife yells out the door,"...
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    I actually have this one on my car

    I'm hung like Einstein, and smart as a horse!
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    my gawd, that hurt...hit a 11.2 on the 1 to 10...

    my gawd, that hurt...hit a 11.2 on the 1 to 10 laugh-con scale.
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    I bought Mrs. Dope a Mood Ring. If she is in a...

    I bought Mrs. Dope a Mood Ring. If she is in a pleasant Mood, it is a lovely shade of blue...If she is in a bad mood, it puts a red mark in the middle of my forehead!
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    GREAT ONE!

    Not often can I relay a joke here in the office, but that one went through the building like s#%t through a goose!
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    On one of my recent jaunts, the flight attendants...

    On one of my recent jaunts, the flight attendants passed out the "meal"...(term used loosly). After a short time a gentleman seated in front of me summoned one of the attendants and asked with a very...
  49. Thread: cold!

    by the pipe dope
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    "So other than that Mrs. Lincoln, what did you...

    "So other than that Mrs. Lincoln, what did you think of the play?" (just overheard it in a bar the other night)
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