Type: Posts; User: jaymax
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Top Ten Old West Phrases That Will Never Sound The Same After "Broke Back Mountain" Movie
1. "I'm gonna pump you fulla lead!"
2. "Give me a stiff one, barkeep!"
3. "Don't fret---I've been in...
Last night, my wife and I were sitting in the living room talking about many things. The idea of a living will came up and I said to
"I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on...
World's Thinnest Books
FRENCH WAR HEROES
FRENCH WAR HEROES
by Jacques Chirac
THINGS I LOVE ABOUT MY COUNTRY
by Jane Fonda & Cindy Sheehan. Illustrated by Michael Moore
Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched
in horror as her ball headed directly toward a
foursome of men playing the next hole. The ball hit
one of the men. He immediately clasped...
A man came home from work, sat down in his favorite chair, turned on The TV,and said to his wife, "Quick, bring me a beer before it starts"
She looked a little puzzled, but brought him a beer....
A crusty old Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local
liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young, idealistic
ladies in attendance, one of whom approached...
at two minutes and three seconds after 1:00 in the morning,
the time and date will be 01:02:03 04/05/06.
This won't ever happen again.
A minister was completing a
Temperance sermon. With great emphasis he said, "If I
had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river."
With even greater emphasis...
I pulled into the crowded parking lot at the Super Wal-Mart
Shopping Center and rolled down the car windows to make sure my Labrador Retriever Pup had fresh air.She was stretched full-out on the...
The following 15 Police Comments were taken off of actual police car videos around the country.
#15. "Relax; the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them...
A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several
months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day.
One day, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he...
Men strike back! ! ! ! ! ! !
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it.
An elderly couple was attending church services, about halfway through
leans over and says, " I just had a silent fart what do you think I
He replies " Put a new battery in...
When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me
that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take
care of first, the truck, the car, fishing,...
First time 2men about 4 hours
Those lead lined blankets are heavy.
The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a
surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was
to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said,...
Hey Ozone Give me a call and I will treat you to lunch or dinner.
Fun Things to Think About
1. Money isn't made out of paper, it's made out of cotton.
2. The Declaration of Independence was written on hemp paper.
3. The dot over the letter I is called a...
One afternoon a wealthy lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw
two men along the roadside eating grass. Disturbed, he ordered his
driver to stop and he got out to investigate the...
Turbine Air System Inc. Houston Texas 713-440-9328
[Edited by jaymax on 01-20-2006 at 04:58 PM]
There was a man who worked for the Post Office, whose job it was to
>process all the mail that had Illegible addresses. One day, a letter came
>to his desk, addressed in a shaky handwriting,...
Did you hear about the two blondes who froze to death in a drive-in movie?
They went to see "Closed for the Winter.
Why did the blonde resolve to have only 3 children?
She heard that one out of...
2006 Houston Texans, Schedule
2006 TEXANS SCHEDULE
September 14................Taft Junior High School
Do you have feelings of inadequacy? Do you suffer from shyness? Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive? If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about...