A Dog Story
A guy is driving around the back woods of Montana and he sees a sign in
front of a broken down shanty-style house: 'Talking Dog For Sale ' He rings
the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.
The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever
'You talk?' he asks.
'Yep,' the Lab replies.
After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says 'So,
what's your story?'
The Lab looks up and says, 'Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was
pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA. In no time
at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with
spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be
'I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. But the
jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger
so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some
undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in.
I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.'
'I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired.'
The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the
'Ten dollars,' the guy says.
'Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so
'Because he's a liar. He never did any of that crap.'
roflmao that is beautiful
Typical politician..... :D
My Dog can Read
I was introducing my dog to a restaurant under renovation that he was to guard. The dog had a strange quirk in that he would not go through a tight spot. A door had to be wide open or he would balk. (I guess he had been caught by a spring door when he was younger.)
There was a section of the building with posh furniture and carpet. Access to the section was through an opening in a planter wall. I didn't want the dog to go into that section, so I placed a "THIS SECTION CLOSED" sign in the middle of the opening, and said "See that?".... The dog looked, and we walked on.
A workman shouted "Hey are you saying that dog can read?"
I replied "Well, watch.", and I squeezed past the sign but the dog who had been at my side in perfect obedience, planted four feet and wouldn't go through, no matter how much I shouted and tugged.
I moved the sign (now there was lots of room), and the dog walked through as though nothing was wrong.
Each time the sign was in the doorway, the dog couldn't be forced through; remove it and he would trot on through.
Somewhere there is a work crew that believes my dog can read. .... Bev McQuain