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Agree with ya 4d's!!

I just can't get this nancy boy thought process going. What the heck is all this tear up about making a man out of a young man. My gosh no wonder we have a bunch of twenty somethings loving x box and not working. Kick his a$$ out and he'll learn. And if he falls, thats a good thing. You learn when you fall.

just fired my son

roncool,i can tell by your thread you are tormented by the fact you had too fire him,i came from a so so upbringing mom and dad both alchies,graduated high school because i refused too quit at 16,and go find a job too help support the family{9 of us,im the oldest}and that pissed my old man off more than anything,but i finished school joined the army right after,spent 4 years learning about discipline and integrity,also learned a lot about people of different races,i am proud of the way i turned out,and i can tell that you are good man and father,just try to reach your boy,before it gets worse.

Roncool,

Hang in there!

The best is yet to come. He'll come around sooner than later.

Best of luck! JMM

I am starting to belive that there is a group of these young guys, that for what ever reason don't want or don't see how they can mature. I am 51 I was a product of the 60's and 70's we were a bit rebelious at time, and not the sharpest tools in the shed. I never thought I could not make it at something I always new I had to get out and be good at something.At 15 I was scraping gum off of a butcher shop's floor at 14 I sold Christmas card in july, somewhere inbetween I started painting address on people's curb for a few bucks.

The point is I made a effort I was motavated, and it was not always the money, it just seemed like a adventure thats all. I wanted to get out on my own ASAP it had nothing to do with how well my parents treated me.

I HATE TO SAY THIS. Could it be the music. I hate to say this because I herd that in my day, but it different now. there seems to be alot of hate and way to much louser messages inbedded in this music. The head phones come on and the brains just turn off. If there is a God and there is a satin what better way to to grab a whole generation of kids then thru this music.

My son can have what ever he wants, but he needs to make a effort. He is a good kid with alot of good qualities, however he is not motavated and does not accept the fact he needs to make a effort.He did get his lic one day after I fired him somthing I have been begging him to get for 6 months, He has been staying out of my way at home he is in his room playing video games, not looking for a job or place to stay just spending time. His last paycheck will about cover his rent and then he will be asked to move, perhaps that will be when the light will come on.

That why he's called spotts, it looks good over the dog house door and the neighbors are none the wiser.

Spotts - good for you!! hopefully one day he will realize the error of his ways and will thank you for trying to show him good work ethics. Its tough when momma bear gets involved.

Originally posted by rookie903
Now, an adopted kid, there is another side to the equation of parenting. Any advice on it?

It's funny, this one seems to think he can slack and then play the "step son act" to mommy so she can straighten me out. I can take that crap at home, but not at work. He will not affect my ability to turn a profit. If he wants to work for me, he'd better be ready to work hard and put forth 100% effort. If not, I hear McD's is hiring..........

Now thats funny

Now, an adopted kid, there is another side to the equation of parenting. Any advice on it?

Originally posted by spotts

Originally posted by acmanko
I bet he looks just like you too, and every time you look at him you see yourself 20 years ago.

I married his mother and adopted him in 1995 smartass! He's 19.
I've never been lazy.

Excuse me!!

Originally posted by acmanko
I bet he looks just like you too, and every time you look at him you see yourself 20 years ago.

I married his mother and adopted him in 1995 smartass! He's 19.
I've never been lazy.

I bet he looks just like you too, and every time you look at him you see yourself 20 years ago.

I fired my son after only 3 days.

He sat and told me how he wanted me to take him under my wing...... wanted to start his own, gonna get married, yada,yada. First day he was only 2 minutes late, blew it off. Second day he was 15 minutes late, My pet peave. Told him show up at 7:30 if you have to but NEVER come in past 8:00 again! That day he drove the truck with the emergency brake on and warped the drums. 3rd day, 12 minutes late and I fired him, all it took. This entire buisness will not "hold up" and wait for daddys little fatty to wake up. I wish he would join the Army. He's a lazy sum buck. Slowest walker I've ever seen. Drives me nuts at work, on vacation, waiting for him to come out of a store, anywheres.

Joining the NAVY was the best thing that I could have done at the time. Not knowing exactly what you want to do or how you are going to do it is just a normal life process. I have two daughters and will always be there as dad.

I said it once I'll say it again "Sometimes the right decision is never the easiest decision"

I have thought it over this weekend. I will rehire him when he produces a EPA card, and a valid drivers lic. He will have to demostrate that he has a intress in HVAC by enrolling in some program Nate, ARI JR collage.I don't care. He also will be required to come to this site and at least read many of the problems that people bring to the site. If that is asking to much I will belive the hand writing is on the wall at that point.thanks for all the help almost all of your replys swow a real sence of wisdom and thought, and they have worked wonders on my wife. I made her read them all,

First an foremost, I think you did the right thing. Your the DAD and that is an AWESOME responsibility! Sometimes you have to be tough, it's your job! Your wife is playing her part too! That's her job. AND that's why it takes a MOM and a DAD! Sometimes exceptional moms or dads have to do it alone, I really respect those people!

BennCool

Cudos for hitting the nail on the head:

"All you can do is give them a good set of values and hope for the best. They will and must try thier own wings. You just got to be there to pick them up when they fall down. How long do you have to do this? Answer: As long as it takes."

"The way I look at it is that I brought them into the world so I am responsible for them until the day that I die."

"Your reward for all of this toil and heartache, that they put you through, is when you hear them say something to thier kids and it is exactly what you said to them when they were the same age."

Don't know how my wife and me got sooo lucky. We have 2 very outstanding young men at our house. This is my secret for what it's worth: The first arrived when I was 28. Both started Cub/Boy Scouts at a young age. ALWAYS told them I loved them and that I was proud of them (still do). Went on a lot of backpacking, camping and fishing trips together. Hardly ever had to spank them; usually telling them I was disappointed was worse than a spanking. They don't get the best grades in schools but that's ok. The oldest has an IQ of 140, just became an Eagle Scout and has elected to join the Army; will come out of basic with an E-3 (took me nearly 18 months to become an E-3 in the USAF). The youngest doesn't know what he'll do yet but has an IQ hiher than his older brother, watches a lot of TV like Discovery, History Channel (I never watched that stuff until he came along).

Don't know what happened, they just turned out to be the best pair of sons I have ever seen. JMM

I have been following this thread and waiting to comment. I have no children so perhaps my opinion is not valid.

I think you did the right thing. We service a clientele wher I often see kids who will never know the feeling of want. They will never experience the thrill of buying a car they had to fix themselves and when you get it right it fires up smoothly nor the joy of buying a home that they have had to scrimp and save for. Too often I see these spoiled brats and I do now appreciate how my Mom, single and on welfare with 5 kids, got a job and moved us away from the ghetto neighborhood I knew as a kid.

I'm gonna call her tomorrow and thank her again for that. She was more of a Father to me than my real father ever could have been.

well it seems we have some fine parents on here, you did the right thing & your wife is just being a mom. Its a a tough job but if you dont cut those strings & make him stand up (even fall a few times) & be a man now, where will he be when you're gone? kudo's for a job well done , I know that was hard.