Mnfatman
12-10-2001, 03:29 AM
IDIOTS IN SERVICE
This week all our office phones went dead and I had to contact the telphone repair people. They promised to be out between 8:00am and 7:00pm. When I asked if they could give me a smaller time window, the pleasant gentleman asked, "Would you like us to call you before we come?"
I replied, that I didn't see how he would be able to do that, since our phones weren't working. He also requested that we report future outages by e-mail. (Does your email work without a telephone line?)
IDIOTS A WORK
I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk noticed I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card. She informed me that she could not complete the transaction unless the card was signed. When I asked why, she explained that it was necessary to compare the signature I had just signed on the reciept. So I signed the credit card in front of her. She carefully compared the signature to the one I had just signed on the receipt. As luck would have it, THEY MATCHED!
IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD
I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road.
The reason: too many deer were being hit by cars and he didn't want them to cross there anymore.
IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a Taco. She asked the counter person for 'minimal lettuce.' He said he was sorry but they only had iceberg lettuce.
IDIOT SIGHTING #1
I was at the airport checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."
CUTE SIGHTING #1
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually-challenged co-worker of mine when she asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signaled blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?"
IDIOT SIGHTING #2
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who is leaving the company due to 'downsizing', our manager commented cheerfully, "This is fun. We should do this more often." Not a word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.
IDIOT SIGHTING #3
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the life of her couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.
IDIOT SIGHTING #4
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the drivers side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I distinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey, I shouted to the technician, "It's open!" To which he replied, "I know, I already got that side."
Someone might have lifted these from Readers Digest. Stuff streaks around the net faster than gossip but they are cute.
So, Happy Monday, only three more left this year and two might be holidays for some lucky folks.
This week all our office phones went dead and I had to contact the telphone repair people. They promised to be out between 8:00am and 7:00pm. When I asked if they could give me a smaller time window, the pleasant gentleman asked, "Would you like us to call you before we come?"
I replied, that I didn't see how he would be able to do that, since our phones weren't working. He also requested that we report future outages by e-mail. (Does your email work without a telephone line?)
IDIOTS A WORK
I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk noticed I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card. She informed me that she could not complete the transaction unless the card was signed. When I asked why, she explained that it was necessary to compare the signature I had just signed on the reciept. So I signed the credit card in front of her. She carefully compared the signature to the one I had just signed on the receipt. As luck would have it, THEY MATCHED!
IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD
I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road.
The reason: too many deer were being hit by cars and he didn't want them to cross there anymore.
IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a Taco. She asked the counter person for 'minimal lettuce.' He said he was sorry but they only had iceberg lettuce.
IDIOT SIGHTING #1
I was at the airport checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."
CUTE SIGHTING #1
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually-challenged co-worker of mine when she asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signaled blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?"
IDIOT SIGHTING #2
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who is leaving the company due to 'downsizing', our manager commented cheerfully, "This is fun. We should do this more often." Not a word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.
IDIOT SIGHTING #3
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the life of her couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.
IDIOT SIGHTING #4
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the drivers side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I distinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey, I shouted to the technician, "It's open!" To which he replied, "I know, I already got that side."
Someone might have lifted these from Readers Digest. Stuff streaks around the net faster than gossip but they are cute.
So, Happy Monday, only three more left this year and two might be holidays for some lucky folks.