Please come in here and tear my resume apart!

[Andr00]

Okay, in about two weeks time, I'll have tied up the loose ends of certain things and it will be time for me to start carpet bombing local HVAC shops, and skulking around their offices and that sort of thing, in my quest to find a new career path. I've prepared a very basic resume and I'd like for you guys to help me improve it, casting the critical eye of an HVAC person looking to hire.

Names and locations have been changed to protect the guilty, obviously, but this is my layout and the job experiences part is real.


Joe Anybody
1234 Main Street
City, State 54321
555-555-1234


Objective:

An entry-level position with an established company as a first step into the HVAC industry.


Experience:


Anonymous Big-Box Store #2 -- August 2010 to Present
Backroom Team Member
Providing fast, friendly customer service, shelving and organizing store merchandise with computerized inventory system, pulling merchandise from shelves as needed.


Bondage Gear/Sex Toy Factory & Online Retailer – December 2008 to August 2009
Leather Products Assembler
Assembly of leather products, accurate record keeping, organization of merchandise and supplies, and light facilities maintenance.


Great Lakes Municipal Water Utility – May 2004 to September 2007
Seasonal Laborer – Facilities Maintenance
Facilities maintenance including HVAC (boilers, dehumidifiers, rooftop units), plumbing, pump/valve and motor repair, and general appearance and landscaping.


Anonymous Big-Box Store #1 -- April 2002 to May 2004
Stocker and Sales Representative
Providing excellent customer service, providing a positive face for the company, organizing and maintaining store merchandise with a computerized inventory system, filling and organizing shelves.


Education and Certification:

AAS – Air Conditioning and Refrigeration Technology – Cheesehead Technical College. Completed May of 2011.

EPA 608 Universal Technician & Cheeseland Dept. of Commerce Refrigerant Handling Technician Certification

BA – Criminal Justice – University of Cheeseheads. Completed January of 2008.


A few notes:

- I know my objective statement is hideously lame, but I've yet to come up with something better.

- I get that most of my experience does not really relate to the field I'm looking for, but I've honestly got nothing else...Not sure how to make that part look better.

- Yes, I really did once handmake bondage gear and sex toys :p No, that tidbit is not on the *normal* version of this resume. I simply say 'leather products assembler'.

- I realize that a BA in a totally unrelated field probably causes the average resume-reading HVAC person to lift an eyebrow and have questions, but I prefer to leave it on there. I'm *proud* that I have a liberal arts background and education to go with my technical degree. 'Thinking with both sides of your head.' as my grandfather would have called it. You can't have too much education in any field, IMO.


So, pick, prod, criticize, and blast away! I need all the help I can get. :gah:

[Spanky McCranky]

Did you seriously assemble sex toys? You might want to camouflage that somehow. Kinda wierd. LMAO :grin2:

[dan wong]

why don't you simply write a real resume, something we can look and edit.

change the name, address, and phone to: Joe anybody, 1234 main street, 555-555-1234.

[Andr00]

That essentially *IS* the real resume. It's thin as can be, I know, but apart from location names, that's the real text. I'm trying to avoid talking myself up and excessive wordiness in describing my past experiences, but perhaps I've gone too far in that regard.

And yes, Spanky, I did. That job is how I stacked up enough money to pay for tech school. Trust me, it's not as weird or exciting as it sounds.

[Spanky McCranky]

That essentially *IS* the real resume. It's thin as can be, I know, but apart from location names, that's the real text. I'm trying to avoid talking myself up and excessive wordiness in describing my past experiences, but perhaps I've gone too far in that regard.

And yes, Spanky, I did. That job is how I stacked up enough money to pay for tech school. Trust me, it's not as weird or exciting as it sounds.


Um yeah, I wasn't thinking exciting. Just sounds wierd to sit there and assemble things that are going to be used by perverts and wierdos. I know that sounds very judgmental of me, but whatever. I judges 'em as I sees 'em. If one of my guys had that on their resume, I would definitely be affected by it. It may not matter once I got to know the candidate, but initially I would take it into consideration, probably negatively. But I'm sure there are some enlightened employers out there that would think it was a great enhancement to your resume. But you put it out here to be judged by the public, so I don't want to lie to you. It's a little wierd.:.02: (But it does show you can work with your hands, right?):grin2:

[Andr00]

Well, as I said, I'm listed on the normal resume as a 'leather products assembler' which was my job title. And the name of the company isn't exactly x-rated, so a bible-thumpin' interviewer would have to do some digging to find out what they really do.

I just made up names to the places I worked at and went to school at, because I'm a little leery of posting up any kind of personal info on the internet, esp at a public board.

[Spanky McCranky]

Well, as I said, I'm listed on the normal resume as a 'leather products assembler' which was my job title. And the name of the company isn't exactly x-rated, so a bible-thumpin' interviewer would have to do some digging to find out what they really do. .

Cool. That's all I was saying.

[jtel]

Well I would expand on what you did hands on at Cheesehead Tech (Packers fan?).

Certainly you had some hands on experience there while they showed you this or that such as brazing, how to check superheat and subcooling etc. Just to give someone an idea of what you learned there.

Maybe do the same thing with the seasonal maintenance job even changing filters, boiler cleanouts etc

You could also mention that you have no fear of heights and throw something on about how eager you are to start your new career after the training you had.

Its the right time of year to look that's for sure and the economy has picked up some also.

Good luck.

[frank shelley]

....first step into the HVAC industry.

Screams at me I get to invest a time, effort and and a whole bunch of money into a rookie which odds dictate I will lose when you move on to your 2nd step.

[Andr00]

Well, that wouldn't be a problem if we were all born with 5+ years of field experience, eh? But, as it turns out, we all have to start somewhere.

What would you suggest as a better objective line? That's the point of this thread.

[markettech]

What would you suggest as a better objective line? That's the point of this thread.

How about something on the lines of....


To obtain an entry level position with a reputed company and build my career in the HVAC industry.

Basically something that doesn't blow smoke up an owner's ass regarding your abilities, but doesn't come across as 'using' a company as a stepping stone either.

Just my :.02:

[Andr00]

Yeah, that one is definitely better. 'Build a career' certainly sounds better, because it would imply building the career at *that* company.

[markettech]

Bondage Gear/Sex Toy Factory & Online Retailer – December 2008 to August 2009
Leather Products Assembler
Assembly of leather products, accurate record keeping, organization of merchandise and supplies, and light facilities maintenance.

Just a suggestion, but I would find a way to reword this in a way that places facilities maintenance at the beginning of your job description.

A potential employer may be looking at a TON of resumes and anything you can do to make relevant work experience stand out to the reader would be a good idea in my opinion.

I would also remove the word 'light' as this adjective means different things to different people. You can always define your job duties in greater detail during an interview, but I personally don't think the word 'light' benefits you in any way.

[Andr00]

Well I can see what you mean there, but I'm a bit wary of doing that.

I'm trying to avoid BS-ing myself up, and making it seem like the maintenance work I did there (none of it really HVAC-related, apart from some filter changes anyway) was my main duty there would sort of be that.

Really, it was just the owners of the company being so cheap and shifty that instead of having real maintenance people, they'd just neglect their buildings until something went wrong, and then have the assembly workers fix it, to varying degrees of success. Which meant I got the joy of occasionally installing cheap off-brand plumbing/light/etc fixtures, making ghetto repairs to doors and windows because I wasn't given the right materials to fix it properly, slobbing roof tar over plywood because that's what they thought 'roof repair' meant, replacing return filters that were so clogged that the units would be making whistling sounds, etc. Plus the usual cleaning and whatnot.

I suppose 'occasional' facilities maintenance is probably what I should say.

[Teck323]

I think you should avoid listing that whole adult toys thing lol. Unless you can cover that up somehow.

[coolwhip]

I would laugh and move on to the next resume!


Hello Maam, Im here to fix your vibrator...I mean furnace. lolz

[Andr00]

As I've re-iterated too many times, really all it says on my actual resume is a (rather dull-sounding) company name and my position as a 'leather products assembler'.

I'm not sure what's worse, really. Having them dig deeper and find the company website, or having a massive hole in my employment history if I leave that out :|

[markettech]

Well I can see what you mean there, but I'm a bit wary of doing that.

I'm trying to avoid BS-ing myself up, and making it seem like the maintenance work I did there (none of it really HVAC-related, apart from some filter changes anyway) was my main duty there would sort of be that.

Really, it was just the owners of the company being so cheap and shifty that instead of having real maintenance people, they'd just neglect their buildings until something went wrong, and then have the assembly workers fix it, to varying degrees of success. Which meant I got the joy of occasionally installing cheap off-brand plumbing/light/etc fixtures, making ghetto repairs to doors and windows because I wasn't given the right materials to fix it properly, slobbing roof tar over plywood because that's what they thought 'roof repair' meant, replacing return filters that were so clogged that the units would be making whistling sounds, etc. Plus the usual cleaning and whatnot.

I suppose 'occasional' facilities maintenance is probably what I should say.

Makes sense.......

My personal preference is to list job responsibilities as bullet points under the main heading. The shorter/more direct the better. It seems like an easier read to me.

For example, if it were my resume, I might write:


Bondage Gear – December 2008 to August 2009
Laborer (Or something to that affect)

Product assembly
Inventory organization and record keeping
General facility maintenance


This is not to say there is anything wrong with the way your resume is laid out.....just throwing out some ideas is all.

[Andr00]

That probably would be neater. I think I'll try making a second resume with that in mind and see how it turns out.

[markettech]

Not to hijack the thread, but with a degree in CJ - why aren't you applying for a job in law enforcement?

Dane County is always looking for good people.

[Joe Harper]

He could make his own holster!

[ja2tn]

He could make his own holster!

That is bad!! Tsk,tsk. Funny as hell, but bad. :angel:

[Andr00]

I could make the whole damn belt!


I would laugh and move on to the next resume!


Hello Maam, Im here to fix your vibrator...I mean furnace. lolz

Care to explain why, exactly? It was no different from any other job hand-assembling custom-ordered items at a small, dreary factory. How should the actual product I was assembling make a difference? Does holding that job automatically make me some sort of morally bankrupt weirdo, not even worthy of an interview to find out what I'm really like?

Your second sentence suggests a lack of professionalism and maturity. Maybe that's the reason.

[coolwhip]

Mature enough to know that putting a dildo factory on a resume is not the best idea. Didn't mean to insult your intelligence.

Whats next....a robosex toy programmer and speed switch operator? This will not help you in the DDC market. Lolz!

[Andr00]

Meh, it frankly shouldn't matter, at least not to anyone professional enough to not go 'hur hur boobs lol' and chuck a resume immediately because it upsets their prenotions of 'values'. And you still didn't explain why exactly it's such a problem, other than 'lol dildo'.

Besides, the only other option is to have a big hole in my work history, which will be ferreted out in an interview anyway. You'll notice I had that job during some of the worst months of our current economic slump. Options were slim.

Sorry to be so combative, but being dismissed based on once having a perfectly average job because someone else imagines that it wasn't perfectly average is very irritating.

[coolwhip]

Just conceal it as manufacturing/assembly work. If they pry, then you can share the specifics.

Social engineering brutha....politicians do it all the time.

[Andr00]

As I've re-iterated too many times, really all it says on my actual resume is a (rather dull-sounding) company name and my position as a 'leather products assembler'.

I'm not sure what's worse, really. Having them dig deeper and find the company website, or having a massive hole in my employment history if I leave that out :|

From earlier. And I should mention that googling the company name *won't* bring up their website, which goes under a completely different name.

And leather products assembly *was* my actual job title. If I'd been hired as 'Entry-level Whips 'n Chains Engineer' or something, I might be more inclined to get a bit more creative with my job title.