Carnak
03-06-2003, 02:32 PM
Received this via email today, hopefully it is not old news already
"It's no surprise the French won't help us get Saddam Hussein out ofIraq. They didn't help us get Germany out of France, either."
- Jay Leno
"France wants more evidence....The last time France wanted more evidence it rolled right through France with a German flag."
- David Letterman
"Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without an accordian. You just leave a lot of useless, noisy baggage behind."
- Jed Babbin, former deputy undersecretary of defense
French Army Surplus sale:
Rifles: Never fired, only dropped once.
Vehicles: 5 gears - 1 forward, 4 reverse.
Andy Borowitz discussing Michael Jackson's plastic surgery: "The French, of course, don't believe it and are demanding further inspections."
Q: Why are there no fireworks at EuroDisney?
A: Because every time they went off, France tried to surrender.
"There is nothing lower than the human race, except the French."
- Mark Twain
"God wants you to lead us to victory? But we're French, we don't even have a word for that."
- Homer Simpson playing as a soldier to Lisa Simpson's Joan of Arc
"BONJOURRRRR, ye cheese-eatin' surrender monkeys."
- Willie (the Scottish groundskeeper from the Simpsons being forced to teach French at Springfield's Elementary School)
"French are the connecting link between man & the monkey."
- Mark Twain
Q: How many Frenchman does it take to defend Paris?
A: Nobody knows, it's never been tried before
Q. Why did the French plant trees along the Champs Elysees?
A. So the Germans could march in the shade.
"It's no surprise the French won't help us get Saddam Hussein out ofIraq. They didn't help us get Germany out of France, either."
- Jay Leno
"France wants more evidence....The last time France wanted more evidence it rolled right through France with a German flag."
- David Letterman
"Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without an accordian. You just leave a lot of useless, noisy baggage behind."
- Jed Babbin, former deputy undersecretary of defense
French Army Surplus sale:
Rifles: Never fired, only dropped once.
Vehicles: 5 gears - 1 forward, 4 reverse.
Andy Borowitz discussing Michael Jackson's plastic surgery: "The French, of course, don't believe it and are demanding further inspections."
Q: Why are there no fireworks at EuroDisney?
A: Because every time they went off, France tried to surrender.
"There is nothing lower than the human race, except the French."
- Mark Twain
"God wants you to lead us to victory? But we're French, we don't even have a word for that."
- Homer Simpson playing as a soldier to Lisa Simpson's Joan of Arc
"BONJOURRRRR, ye cheese-eatin' surrender monkeys."
- Willie (the Scottish groundskeeper from the Simpsons being forced to teach French at Springfield's Elementary School)
"French are the connecting link between man & the monkey."
- Mark Twain
Q: How many Frenchman does it take to defend Paris?
A: Nobody knows, it's never been tried before
Q. Why did the French plant trees along the Champs Elysees?
A. So the Germans could march in the shade.