infwsdm
02-22-2003, 04:05 PM
> > > CLASSIC VERSION:
> > > The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his
> > house
> > > and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper think's he's a
> > fool
> > > and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant
> > is
> > > warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter so he dies
> > out
> > in
> > > the cold.
> > > MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!
> > >
> > >
> > > MODERN VERSION:
> > > The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his
> > house
> > > and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a
> > fool
> > > and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the
> > shivering
> > > grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant
> > should
> > > be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.
> > CBS,
> > > NBC, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering
> > > grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a
> > table
> > > filled with food.
> > >
> > > America is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be, that in a
> > > country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?
> > > Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody
> > cries
> > > when they sing "It's Not Easy Being Green." Jesse Jackson stages a
> > > emonstration in front of the ant's house where the news stations film
> > the
> > > group singing "We shall overcome". Jesse then has the group kneel
> > down to
> > > pray to God for the grasshopper's sake. Tom Daschle & Walter Mondale
> > > exclaim in an interview with Peter Jennings that the ant has gotten
> > rich
> > off
> > > the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike
> > on
> > the
> > > ant to make him pay his "fair share". Finally, the EEOC drafts the
> > > "Economic Equity and Anti-Grasshopper Act", retroactive to the
> > beginning
> > of
> > > the summer. The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate
> > number of
> > > green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his
> > home
> > > is confiscated by the government.
> > >
> > > Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a
> > defamation
> > > suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of federal
> > judges
> > > that Bill appointed from a list of single-parent welfare recipients.
> > The
> > > ant loses the case. The story ends as we see the grasshopper
> > finishing up
> > > the last bits of the ant's food while the government house he is in,
> > which
> > > just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he
> > > doesn't maintain it.
> > >
> > > The ant has disappeared in the snow. The grasshopper is found dead in
> > a
> > > drug related incident and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a
> > gang
> > > of spiders who terrorize the once peaceful neighborhood.
> > >
> > > MORAL OF THE STORY: Vote Republican
> > >
> > >
> > > The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his
> > house
> > > and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper think's he's a
> > fool
> > > and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant
> > is
> > > warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter so he dies
> > out
> > in
> > > the cold.
> > > MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!
> > >
> > >
> > > MODERN VERSION:
> > > The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his
> > house
> > > and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a
> > fool
> > > and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the
> > shivering
> > > grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant
> > should
> > > be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.
> > CBS,
> > > NBC, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering
> > > grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a
> > table
> > > filled with food.
> > >
> > > America is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be, that in a
> > > country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?
> > > Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody
> > cries
> > > when they sing "It's Not Easy Being Green." Jesse Jackson stages a
> > > emonstration in front of the ant's house where the news stations film
> > the
> > > group singing "We shall overcome". Jesse then has the group kneel
> > down to
> > > pray to God for the grasshopper's sake. Tom Daschle & Walter Mondale
> > > exclaim in an interview with Peter Jennings that the ant has gotten
> > rich
> > off
> > > the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike
> > on
> > the
> > > ant to make him pay his "fair share". Finally, the EEOC drafts the
> > > "Economic Equity and Anti-Grasshopper Act", retroactive to the
> > beginning
> > of
> > > the summer. The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate
> > number of
> > > green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his
> > home
> > > is confiscated by the government.
> > >
> > > Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a
> > defamation
> > > suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of federal
> > judges
> > > that Bill appointed from a list of single-parent welfare recipients.
> > The
> > > ant loses the case. The story ends as we see the grasshopper
> > finishing up
> > > the last bits of the ant's food while the government house he is in,
> > which
> > > just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he
> > > doesn't maintain it.
> > >
> > > The ant has disappeared in the snow. The grasshopper is found dead in
> > a
> > > drug related incident and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a
> > gang
> > > of spiders who terrorize the once peaceful neighborhood.
> > >
> > > MORAL OF THE STORY: Vote Republican
> > >
> > >