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View Full Version : The new Congressional Motors car, soon to be at a dealership near you...



ga-hvac-tech
12-14-2008, 01:42 PM
It's in the way you dress. The way you boogie down. The way you sign your unemployment check. You're a man who likes to do things your own way. And on those special odd-numbered Saturdays when driving is permitted, you want it in your car. It's that special feeling of a zero-emissions wind at your back and a road ahead meandering with possibilities. The kind of feeling you get behind the wheel of the Pelosi GTxi SS/Rt Sport Edition from Congressional Motors.

All new for 2012, the Pelosi GTxi SS/Rt Sport Edition is the mandatory American car so advanced it took $100 billion and an entire Congress to design it. We started with same reliable 7-way hybrid ethanol-biodiesel-electric-clean coal-wind-solar-pedal power plant behind the base model Pelosi, but packed it with extra oomph and the sassy styling pizzazz that tells the world that 1974 Detroit is back again -- with a vengeance.

We've subsidized the features you want and taxed away the rest. With its advanced Al Gore-designed V-3 under the hood pumping out 22.5 thumping, carbon-neutral ponies of Detroit muscle, you'll never be late for the Disco or the Day Labor Shelter. Engage the pedal drive or strap on the optional jumbo mizzenmast, and the GTxi SS/Rt Sport Edition easily exceeds 2016 CAFE mileage standards. At an estimated 268 MPG, that's a savings of nearly $1800 per week in fuel cost over the 2011 Pelosi.

Even with increased performance we didn't skimp on safety. With 11-point passenger racing harnesses, 15-way airbags, and mandatory hockey helmet, you'll have the security knowing that you could survive a 45 MPH collision even if the GTxi SS/Rt were capable of that kind of illegal speed.

But the changes don't stop there. Sporty mag-style hubcaps and an all-new aggressive wedge shape designed by CM's Chief Stylist Ted Kennedy slices through the wind like an omnibus spending bill. It even features an airtight undercarriage to keep you and a passenger afloat up to 15 minutes -- even in the choppy waters of a Cape Cod inlet.
Available a rainbow of color choices to match any wardrobe, from Harvest Avocado to French Mustard.

Inside, a luxurious all-velour interior designed by Barney Frank features thoughtful appointments like an in-dash condom dispenser. A special high capacity hatchback holds up to 300 aluminum cans, meaning fewer trips to the redemption center. And the standard 3 speaker Fairness ActoPhonic FM low-band sound system means you'll never miss a segment of NPR again.

Best of all, the Pelosi GTxi SS/Rt is made right here in the U.S.A. by fully card-checked unionized workers and Detroit 's famous visionary jet-set managers. Even if you don't own one, you can enjoy the patriotic satisfaction that you're supporting the high wages, good benefits, and generous political donations that are once again making the American car industry the envy of the world.

But why not buy one anyway? With an MSRP starting at only $79,999.99, it's affordable too. Don't forget to ask about dealer incentives, rebates, tax credits, and wealth redistribution plans for customers from dozens of qualifying special interest groups. Plus easy-pay financing programs from Fannie Mae.

So take the bus to your local CM dealer today and find out why the Pelosi GTxi SS/Rt Sport Edition is the only car endorsed by President Barack Obama. One test drive will convince you that you'd choose it over the import brands, even if they were still legal.

whec720
12-14-2008, 03:36 PM
Hmmm...I'm interested. Can I get one with a paint job that has Botox injections? I want that younger hip look.:D

jmac00
12-14-2008, 03:46 PM
Great, I'll bet the front of that car has less plastic than Pelosi's face :eek:

whec720
12-14-2008, 04:32 PM
Great, I'll bet the front of that car has less plastic than Pelosi's face :eek:

Not to mention that it costs next to nothing on fuel. It uses hot air provided by Al Gore.:p

ga-hvac-tech
12-14-2008, 09:31 PM
This one should be perfect the first model year, no bugs... I think I will place my order ahead and be the first with the trendy new wheels. After all, Congress never screws up anything... do they?

superheatrman
12-14-2008, 09:50 PM
Can I still charge the air conditioner with R-12 when it leaks?

The Doctor
12-15-2008, 07:53 AM
LOL, that's a hoot, GA. It'd be even funnier if it didn't have such possibilities :eek:

acmanko
12-15-2008, 09:10 AM
see, I told you there were lots of things worth more than gold and silver. I just had to wait for you to prove it.
But it'll be a blast speeding by all those in their Bush MotorCo clunkers.Pushing,:cool: since it fails daily, in the new Pelosi.

ga-hvac-tech
12-15-2008, 09:13 AM
I think I will keep my 'capitalistic-mobile', you can have your false green Pelosi (not so) trendy-scooter.

And while we are at it, lets see which one carries the most tools and equipment, and has enough power to scoot around town.

Andy Schoen
12-15-2008, 10:32 PM
see, I told you there were lots of things worth more than gold and silver. I just had to wait for you to prove it.
But it'll be a blast speeding by all those in their Bush MotorCo clunkers.Pushing,:cool: since it fails daily, in the new Pelosi.

Are you referring to my Acura??? :D

acmanko
12-16-2008, 05:30 AM
Are you referring to my Acura??? :Dno. I happen to like Acura

chaard
12-16-2008, 07:20 AM
Can I still charge the air conditioner with R-12 when it leaks?

There won't be any ozone depleting materials in that car. It will probably have 240 air conditioning. 2 windows down, 40 mph.

The Doctor
12-16-2008, 07:25 AM
A point has recently been made by a talk show host that any zeal for the electric cars ought to be tempered knowing that electricity is currently provided by and large by coal. OOPS! Don't tell Mr. O'Bama. He doesn't like coal all that much. Shhhh!

This country is a bit too large for having to recharge a vehicle every 45 miles. Think of the days when you have put 200, 300, or 400 miles on a vehicle in the pursuit of HVAC. There aren't enough subsidies in the world to prop up that junk.