A pirate

[infwsdm]

A pirate walked into a bar and the bartender said, "Hey, I
haven't
seen you in a while. What happened, you look
terrible!"
What do you mean? I'm fine."
"What about that wooden
leg? You didn't have that before."
"Well," said the pirate,
"we were in a battle at sea and a cannon
ball hit my leg, but the Doc
fixed me up, and I'm fine, really."
"Oh yeah? Well what about that
hook? The last time I saw you, you
had both hands."
"Well, we
were in another battle and we boarded the enemy ship. I
was in a sword
fight and my hand was cut off, but the Doc fixed me
up with the hook,
and I feel great, really."
Oh," said the bartender, "what about that eye
patch? The last time
you were in here you had both eyes."
"One
day when we were at sea some birds were flying over the ship. I
looked up and
one of them **** in my eye."
"You're kidding," said the bartender, " you
couldn't have lost an
eye just from some bird ****!"
"It was my first
day with the hook."