My space and teen's suicide

[mrs reb77]

Don't know if this story has gone 'national' but it happened in Dardenne Prairie about a 45 minute drive from here.
Anyway, yesterday it was announced that no charges would be filed regarding the perp's.
http://suburbanjournals.stltoday.com/articles/2007/12/03/news/doc47543edb763a7031547461.txt

Now, I don't have any children but I'm pretty much bumfoozled as to how these people can be getting away with what is essentially murder. I feel that if it were my daughter that had died my feelings toward these people would be pretty...angry.

[k-fridge]

Wow! Being the parent of a daughter I've always been concerned about MySpace. Luckily she's just about outgrown it.

[fixacr]

Incredible!! I lost count of all the things going on, according to that story, that should never have happened in the first place.

[acmanko]

If it was my daughter, their house would resemble a fire.

[Pagan]

I dont have a daughter, but If that were my Daughter, they would have never found the responsible party's bodies ever again!

#2 I question why the mother of the dead daughter was not more involved in her Daughters life, and had been proactive enough in raising her, that she could not detect a serious change in her daughter's mental state and attitude. IMO A 14 yr old Teen has all kinds of emotions, and insecurities and "Issues" in their lives and I belive that as parents we should be on top of things going on in their lives and be knowledgable about how to correctly talk to them, guide them and deal with said Issues BEFORE drastic measures are taken into their own hands!

Btw I have 3 Boys of different age's, 1 of which is a child prodigy
and Bi Polar under medication, and that has a whole set of issues in it self belive me ! the melt downs he has at times can be challenging to say the least!

[k-fridge]

I question why the mother of the dead daughter was not more involved in her Daughters life, and had been proactive enough in raising her, that she could not detect a serious change in her daughter's mental state and attitude.
Unfortunately that is a huge problem these days. When my daughter was in school it was painfully obvious that most kids parents weren't the least bit involved. My kid was in a dance team of about 20 girls, I was one of about 3 dads and 5 moms that came to the events and supported their kids. We never even got to meet most of the parents 'cause they never came around. The other girls were starving for parental support and affirmation. Quite sad actually.

[jmac00]

Don't know if this story has gone 'national' but it happened in Dardenne Prairie about a 45 minute drive from here.
Anyway, yesterday it was announced that no charges would be filed regarding the perp's.
http://suburbanjournals.stltoday.com/articles/2007/12/03/news/doc47543edb763a7031547461.txt

Now, I don't have any children but I'm pretty much bumfoozled as to how these people can be getting away with what is essentially murder. I feel that if it were my daughter that had died my feelings toward these people would be pretty...angry.

I would think there is a "wrongful death" suite here someplace, after all the other lady admitted to the hoax?

[mrs reb77]

Aye, one would think that is going to be the next step. There have been several municipalities (including that one) to enact laws concerning this type of thing but they probably won't be held up as constitutional (so the lawyers think).
How can that woman live with herself, being a mother that was supposed to be looking out for her own daughter? There are some sad pieces of **** out there in this world, this is probably one of them.

[John Culpepper]

As a father to 3 girls in their teens I find this sickening. To let my emotions cloud things their family tree would get a big dose of Round Up! Other than that I hope that the burden on those that are guilty is more than they could bear.

[The Doctor]

Did the two teenage girls have a friendship and then a falling-out at some point? Then one of the girls pretended to be a teenage boy, and with the full knowledge of her mother, pretended to be interested in the other girl?

Okay, the involvement of the mother is the part that is twisted.

But it's not murder.

And all y'all threatening to inflict harm on the mother or the daughter are wrong.

Does it make you feel better to threaten others?

Cyberspace is not a place for children to wander. There are WAY too many people who are cloaked in anonymity, who then become almost weirdos. or worse yet, who become outright weirdos. And then they look to put it on somebody else.

Another sad story...

[mrs reb77]

Hey Doc, I don't think people on here are actually "threatening" harm but they would certainly "feel" that were their family involved. That being said, there is an ongoing fallout for all involved in this situation.
The girls were originally friends, had a falling out and the daughter, Mother and one of the Mother's employees perpetuated the hoax of the boy on myspace upon the girl. They knew that the girl had issues in her life (ADD, etc.) and was on medication because she had even taken vacations with them etc. The fake boyfriend was created because she wouldn't accept their invites as friends using their own names on myspace. They wanted to see if she would say bad things if given the opening.
And yes, the adults in this thing should be punished in some way most of us feel. It showed a total lack of judgment. But, the Mother has now lost her business (advertising) and there are many of her previous customers that are getting calls about losing business because they were her clients etc. The daughter is now in homeschooling because of the situation and the 18 yr old employee is in a psychiatric treatment facility. This story is on the news every single day here.

[Pagan]

Did the two teenage girls have a friendship and then a falling-out at some point? Then one of the girls pretended to be a teenage boy, and with the full knowledge of her mother, pretended to be interested in the other girl?

Okay, the involvement of the mother is the part that is twisted.

But it's not murder.

And all y'all threatening to inflict harm on the mother or the daughter are wrong.

Does it make you feel better to threaten others?

Cyberspace is not a place for children to wander. There are WAY too many people who are cloaked in anonymity, who then become almost weirdos. or worse yet, who become outright weirdos. And then they look to put it on somebody else.

Another sad story...

To be clear, I made no threat to anyone.:D;)
what I stated was cut and dry!
I would carry out exactly as I stated if that were to happen to my daughter if I had one!:cool:

[chaard]

I was pretty stunned by the story for different reasons.

My SIL lives next to Dardenne Prairie and her son's name is Josh Evans.

I wondered if he was being used. But it seems that he was not connected. It was eerie listening to the story and knowing that you wife's nephew lived near where this tragedy happened.

I've posted video of Josh and his band Feed The Flame on this site.

Again, he is not connected but what a coincidence.

I think that the prosecutor is wrong for not pursuing charges against those involved. There has to be some repercussions for driving someone to commit suicide.

BTW, I heard that Megan's parents were storing a game table for the other family and they chopped it up and dropped it off in their driveway. Good for them. I would have probably done the same and then set the thing on fire.

Also, I have been hearing a commercial for cyberbullying on the radio before I heard the story. Now that I have heard the story, I wish the creators of that spot would have used a different name than Megan. I just seems that Megan is still being mocked even after she has passed. They probably did it to remind the mother that did this to Megan, but I don't thinks it's fair to Megan. Even if she is no longer here.

[markettech]

I read a story in the paper about this today.

Seems the townsfolk are shunning the family that perpetrated the hoax.

Sounds like death threats, intimidation, and the like are the norm for the family.........not saying the woman was justified in what she did, just saying that there are quite a few nut jobs in that area that are evidently every bit as unbalanced.

[mrs reb77]

The local Fox station carried a story tonight with a statement from "Lori Drew" saying that she didn't do these things now. Which is in direct contrast to her earlier statements.
I don't know what to think in all this--it's been on the news so much! This Lori Drew person is the one the police eventually decided not to press charges against and now she's trying to say she didn't have anything to do with the Myspace stuff.

Chaard--dude! That would be sooooo.....worrisome! That they picked a name like that of someone who lived nearby is against most odds! It would have freaked me out for sure. I'm sure you've seen the news saturation on this story, not that it doesn't deserve it.

[chaard]

The local Fox station carried a story tonight with a statement from "Lori Drew" saying that she didn't do these things now. Which is in direct contrast to her earlier statements.
I don't know what to think in all this--it's been on the news so much! This Lori Drew person is the one the police eventually decided not to press charges against and now she's trying to say she didn't have anything to do with the Myspace stuff.

Chaard--dude! That would be sooooo.....worrisome! That they picked a name like that of someone who lived nearby is against most odds! It would have freaked me out for sure. I'm sure you've seen the news saturation on this story, not that it doesn't deserve it.

I don't get to hear St. Louis news much now that I'm in Joplin. However I can pick up KMOX in my van, which I like to listen to whenever I can, as long as the sun is not out. That's how I heard about it.

Yeah, my jaw dropped when I heard Josh Evans. He has sisters their age but I don't know if they go to the same school.

I've heard conflicting stories about the myspace account. Some are saying that Josh was made up. But by who? Others are saying the mother got Josh's password to his account. If there is no Josh then why keep using his name in the story and why did they have to get HIS password?

[marter]

Kids these days are wussies.. thats all there is to it

fyi .. im 25 and have a 10yr stepdaughter and a 3yr daughter

Why does a 13 year old have an account on myspace anyway?
-- just like young girls having cell phones.. hell no i told mine you dont need one, and who would you call, and last when you start paying for it

Why is the child not supervised on the internet?
-- very least filtering software should be use, yes theres way's around it but none that a avg 13yr old "non computer nerd" would know of

I remember I myself was a kid not long ago, and i was the typical depressed social outcast teen so i know how kids feel. but i had tough skin one thing kids today dont have.

I do feel the parents of the kid that committed suicide could have prevented this by solely being more active in the child's life. I do feel charges should be brought against the parent who helped created the account for the purpose of harassment, if the kid did it on her own.. well thats just kids bulling each other which i know all about

For some reason kids today dont feel comfortable talking to their parents about this stuff (i didn't talk to mine about what i was going though when i was a teen). This is why parents have to work harder to get involved in the kids life

[mrs reb77]

My brother is 24 and went thru an incident or two during his younger years--mostly live and learn! But, adults weren't involved in creating these incidents. That's the whole issue here, this mother knew (or should have) better than to do such a thing. This isn't adult behavior. Good luck with your daughters, this world is crazy enough without adults adding to the problems teenagers go through. Sounds like you're trying to be responsible with yours which is something that is happening less and less these days.

[marter]

But, adults weren't involved in creating these incidents. That's the whole issue here, this mother knew (or should have) better than to do such a thing.

from the suburban journal link

Banas said that Curt Drew, Lori Drew’s husband, knew about the fake MySpace account, and had told his wife and daughter it was a bad idea. Nevertheless, the account was not closed.

The dad should be in jail or get a severe ass kicking for letting this happen same with his wife.. I can understand kids doing this stupid crap (i did more then my fair share) but an ADULT... come on

he sould have done what i would think any other dad would do. beat the **** outta both of em and went out for a beer :)

[mustardman]

nfortunately that is a huge problem these days. When my daughter was in school it was painfully obvious that most kids parents weren't the least bit involved. My kid was in a dance team of about 20 girls, I was one of about 3 dads and 5 moms that came to the events and supported their kids. We never even got to meet most of the parents 'cause they never came around. The other girls were starving for parental support and affirmation. Quite sad actually.


I agree with you 100% K Fridge it is the same at my older boys hockey and karate. It is a shame that the cost of living has skyrocketed to the point where in most cases both parents have to work. I am fortunate enough to be able to travel often and work as much ot as I want in order to keep my wife at home. But that comes at a cost as I end up missing a lot of things I should be at.

[hvac hero]

first off I wanna say its a bad thing that happened. Anytime a kid commits suicide, its heartbreaking. But c'mon these people are not as guilty as someone pointing a gun at you & pulling a trigger. They told her that the world would be a better place without her. That is not that harsh. The internet is full of fakes already, its not like these people are the only one pretending to be someone else. I'm into some online gaming leagues & it is a huge thing. People putting fake pics in their profiles, lying about their jobs. Trying to be bigshots. Its happening thousands of times a day if not millions. I guess you've all heard the song "Online" by Brad Paisley. He mentions myspace in it.

Here's a off the wall situation that could possibly happen. What if someone made an account here as a homeowner & asked a stupid question. Then good ole James goes off on em & personally attacks em like we've all seen him do many times. Then that person is so distraught that they kill themself. We gonna hold James responsible & jump on the bandwagon of him being prosecuted? Heck no, we'd all be saying hey how could he have known it was a 16 yr old kid trying to fix his moma's furnace. lol

This is a suicide & the only person responsible is the person commiting the actions. You cannot kill someone with words. If so, half the op's in residential would be dead right now.

[mrs reb77]

The only problem with the scenario you paint is that these adults already knew this kid and her problems and they worked off of that. This isn't a case of meeting on the net by accident etc. These adults worked this girl that they knew personally. They created a boy they thought she would go for, built it up and then...crash! Took her down. They intimately knew her mental state before this--she took vacations with this family in the past and they knew of her medication.
They were adults. They knew she was a young teen with mental issues. They deliberately drew her in just so they could create this drama on her. It wasn't an accident or between someone they didn't know or for fun. It was deliberate.

[hvac hero]

Mrs. Reb,

I didnt read that article close enough when I made that first post. I went back & reread the whole thing & see what your saying now. That does show a lot of malice for those people to do such a thing to a depressed teenager. There are a lot of mean people in the world & I'd lump em into that category. I still think it'd be a long shot to say they were trying to get her to kill herself. I'd chalk it up to ignorant folks who dont think before they do something & it gets way outa control.

I dont see how they could have any kind of court case without the parents being dragged through the mud. They would be blamed heavily for knowing her state of mind & allowing her to be on myspace. Allowing her to lie about her age when signing up. Because you have to be 18 to even be allowed a myspace account. A good arguement in court is there is a reason for that age requirement. To keep things like this from happening.

Like I said its a bad deal. I have a boy thats 12 & he's a good boy but he is constantly in my prayers that he will continue down the right path. We have had many talks about how important it is for him to be nice to everybody at school & not just the cool kids. And how he will be remembered for that a lot more than he will for how many Ambercrombie or Hollister shirts he has. Or if his wallabees or the real ones or the fake ones. (Argh dont even get me started on that subject)

[mrs reb77]

We don't have any kids together but, I'm pretty close to my nieces. One is 13 (going on 19) and going through the whole "mean girls" phase. She's athletic, honor roll etc. and it just invites the jealous kids. It's something that most of us live and grow thru (especially with help from our elders!) but they certainly don't need the menace of people that never grew up themselves putting obstacles in the way. It's a sad thing but those people do deserve some punishment. No, she shouldn't have been on myspace but, then again, neither should the other kids. My niece has a facebook page but it's under her mom's set up and she's only on there if her mom logs it on. I think that this teen had something like that set up with her mom for this myspace page and it was to the point where she was trusted (and her mom could read everything) to follow the rules.

[mrs reb77]

Here is a new twist on this case that was reported on local news tonight:

http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la-me-myspace9jan09,0,5809715.story?coll=la-home-local

Not sure what they actually think they can accomplish with it though.