fanman84
08-01-2007, 09:40 AM
One day I met a sweet gentleman and
fell in love. When it became apparent that we would
marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up
beans.
Some months later, on my birthday,
my car broke down on the way home from work. Since
I lived in the countryside I called my husband and
told him that I would be late because I had to walk
home. On my way, I passed by a small diner and the
odor of baked beans was more than I could stand.
With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off
any ill effects by the time I reached home, so I
stopped at the diner and before I knew it, I had
consumed three large orders of baked beans. All the
way home, I made sure that I released all the gas.
Upon my arrival, my husband seemed
excited to see! me and exclaimed delightedly:
"Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight."
He then blindfolded me and led me to
my chair at the dinner table. I took a seat and just
as he was about to remove my blindfold, the
telephone rang. He made me promise not to touch the
blindfold until he returned and went
to answer the call.
The baked beans I had consumed were
still affecting me and the pressure was becoming
most unbearable, so while my husband was out of the
room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to
one leg and let one go. It was not only loud, but it
smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a
skunk in front of a pulpwood mill. I took my napkin
from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously.
Then, shifting to the other cheek, I
ripped off three more. The stink was worse than
cooked cabbage.
Keeping my ears carefully tuned to
the conversation in the other room, I went on like
this for another few minutes.
The pleasure was indescribable.
When eventually the telephone farewells signaled the
end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few
more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and
folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved and
pleased with myself.
My face must have been the picture
of innocence when my husband returned, apologizing
for taking so long. He asked me if I had peeked
through the blindfold, and I assured him I had not.
At this point, he removed the
blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated around
the table chorused: "Happy Birthday!"
I fainted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
fell in love. When it became apparent that we would
marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up
beans.
Some months later, on my birthday,
my car broke down on the way home from work. Since
I lived in the countryside I called my husband and
told him that I would be late because I had to walk
home. On my way, I passed by a small diner and the
odor of baked beans was more than I could stand.
With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off
any ill effects by the time I reached home, so I
stopped at the diner and before I knew it, I had
consumed three large orders of baked beans. All the
way home, I made sure that I released all the gas.
Upon my arrival, my husband seemed
excited to see! me and exclaimed delightedly:
"Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight."
He then blindfolded me and led me to
my chair at the dinner table. I took a seat and just
as he was about to remove my blindfold, the
telephone rang. He made me promise not to touch the
blindfold until he returned and went
to answer the call.
The baked beans I had consumed were
still affecting me and the pressure was becoming
most unbearable, so while my husband was out of the
room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to
one leg and let one go. It was not only loud, but it
smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a
skunk in front of a pulpwood mill. I took my napkin
from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously.
Then, shifting to the other cheek, I
ripped off three more. The stink was worse than
cooked cabbage.
Keeping my ears carefully tuned to
the conversation in the other room, I went on like
this for another few minutes.
The pleasure was indescribable.
When eventually the telephone farewells signaled the
end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few
more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and
folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved and
pleased with myself.
My face must have been the picture
of innocence when my husband returned, apologizing
for taking so long. He asked me if I had peeked
through the blindfold, and I assured him I had not.
At this point, he removed the
blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated around
the table chorused: "Happy Birthday!"
I fainted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!