infwsdm
05-15-2002, 10:00 PM
A fellow is ordered by his doctor to lose 75 lbs. due to very serious
> health
> > risks. As he wonders how in the heck he will ever do it, he comes across
> an
> > ad in the newspaper for a "GUARANTEED WEIGHT LOSS PROGRAM."
> >
> > "Guaranteed. Yeah right!" he thinks to himself. But desperate, he calls
> the
> > company up and subscribes to the 3-day/10-pound weight loss program. The
> next
> > day there's a knock at his door, and when he answers, there stands
before
> him
> > a voluptuous, athletic, 19-year-old babe dressed in nothing but a pair
of
> > Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck. She introduces herself as
a
> > representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, "If you can
> catch
> > me, you can have me."
> > Without a second thought he takes off after her. A few miles later,
> huffing
> > and puffing, he finally catches her and has his way with her. After they
> are
> > through and she leaves, he thinks to himself, "I like the way this
company
> > does business!" The same girl shows up for the next two days, and the
same
> > thing happens. On the fourth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to
> find
> > he has lost 10 lbs. as promised.
> > He calls the company and orders their 5-day/20-pound program. The next
> day
> > there's a knock at the door, and there stands the most stunning,
> beautiful,
> > sexy woman he has ever seen in his life, wearing nothing but Reebok
> running
> > shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, "If you catch me, you can
> have
> > me." He's out the door after her like a shot. This girl is in excellent
> > shape, and it takes him a while to catch her, but when he does, it is
> worth
> > every cramp and wheeze. For the next four days, the same routine
happens,
> and
> > much to his delight, on the fifth day he weighs himself and finds he has
> lost
> > another 20lbs. as promised.
> > He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the
> 7-day/50-pound
> > program. "Are you sure?" asks the representative on the phone. "This is
> our
> > most rigorous program." "Absolutely," he replies, "I haven't felt this
> good
> > in years." The next day there's a knock at the door, and when he opens
it,
> he
> > finds Richard Simmons standing there wearing nothing but pink running
> shoes
> > and a sign around his neck that reads, "If I catch you, I can have you!"
> >
> health
> > risks. As he wonders how in the heck he will ever do it, he comes across
> an
> > ad in the newspaper for a "GUARANTEED WEIGHT LOSS PROGRAM."
> >
> > "Guaranteed. Yeah right!" he thinks to himself. But desperate, he calls
> the
> > company up and subscribes to the 3-day/10-pound weight loss program. The
> next
> > day there's a knock at his door, and when he answers, there stands
before
> him
> > a voluptuous, athletic, 19-year-old babe dressed in nothing but a pair
of
> > Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck. She introduces herself as
a
> > representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, "If you can
> catch
> > me, you can have me."
> > Without a second thought he takes off after her. A few miles later,
> huffing
> > and puffing, he finally catches her and has his way with her. After they
> are
> > through and she leaves, he thinks to himself, "I like the way this
company
> > does business!" The same girl shows up for the next two days, and the
same
> > thing happens. On the fourth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to
> find
> > he has lost 10 lbs. as promised.
> > He calls the company and orders their 5-day/20-pound program. The next
> day
> > there's a knock at the door, and there stands the most stunning,
> beautiful,
> > sexy woman he has ever seen in his life, wearing nothing but Reebok
> running
> > shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, "If you catch me, you can
> have
> > me." He's out the door after her like a shot. This girl is in excellent
> > shape, and it takes him a while to catch her, but when he does, it is
> worth
> > every cramp and wheeze. For the next four days, the same routine
happens,
> and
> > much to his delight, on the fifth day he weighs himself and finds he has
> lost
> > another 20lbs. as promised.
> > He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the
> 7-day/50-pound
> > program. "Are you sure?" asks the representative on the phone. "This is
> our
> > most rigorous program." "Absolutely," he replies, "I haven't felt this
> good
> > in years." The next day there's a knock at the door, and when he opens
it,
> he
> > finds Richard Simmons standing there wearing nothing but pink running
> shoes
> > and a sign around his neck that reads, "If I catch you, I can have you!"
> >